Sex Education

Lesson Twenty (crisis management)

Note: This chapter contains some descriptions of violence/death and alludes to child abuse that could bother some readers. There's some really obvious build up to that happening, so I won't specifically earmark a place, but people affected by that kind of thing should read at their own discretion.

So Kayano would probably yell at him for this.

Fortunately, she's not here. And Nagisa's already on season two.

Why is he binge watching one of her love dramas again?

Nagisa's not sure if this is some kind of pathetic attempt to hype himself up, in all honesty. It seems almost ironic, how well he understands sex now, but the lovey dovey fluffy feeling stuff is alien to him. Is it a little weird that he's watching one of his best friends fake fall in love with some idol who's trying to break out into the serious acting market? Perhaps. It's probably less educational and more of a coping mechanism. Pride and Prejudice had started to get a bit too depressing for him.

There's something entertaining in this at least. Again, it's a little weird watching love scenes acted by one of his closest friends, but this is research. Plus... it's kind of cute. Kayano's a good actress, after all, so he can suspend his disbelief to forget who she is. So what if the bakery scene is getting to him just a little?

Nagisa just... this is all really backwards? But he doesn't understand romance somehow. It's weird, because he always thought if something like this every happened, that would be the part that came easiest to him. But no, because if he mentally puts himself and Karma in those positions, he kind of dies internally.

Hence slamming his laptop screen down, and curling up into a ball. What can he even say? I like you Karma but if you take me to buy pastries I might burst into flames? Judging from Karma's personality, that's exactly what he'd try to do. And Nagisa's no masochist. Well, sometimes, apparently, but that doesn't extend to emotional torment!

Which brings him back to what he actually wants from this. That's like a big dark cloud dancing around above his head. But no, he clenches his fist, that can't even matter. He needs to just come clean with everything, to get it out there finally no matter what happens. He's even had to talk himself out of just writing a text message several times.

Eventually, though, he does have to remove himself from his bed. His job as an educator comes first, after all. Besides, exams are next week, so he really has to be there for his students, if only to reassure them. Given their age, they've only taken a few serious exams, and last time appeared to be a shock to the system. He doesn't want tests to be something they learn to fear.

It's a lot easier to focus on that, anyway, than Karma related things. He's not even opening the message he sent this morning! In fact, he tucks his phone away completely once the train journey Is over. More pressing issues. Like work! Nagisa loves work. Even though he's aware he's not exactly acting like it.

At least a kind of calm washes over him when he actually makes it into the school building. He's not sure why, but it's something about this kind of place. The chatter of his students when he walks in also helps fill his mind. Is there a part of him that's still a little bitter they don't respect him enough to fall quiet when he enters? Maybe. But he knows where to cut his losses.

The morning register goes off without a hitch, but he finds himself frowning at the empty seat in the room. It's not like he's never had a student absence or anything, but there'll usually be some kind of explanation. He can't explain it, but the lack of Watanabe fills him with a certain kind of dread. Perhaps he's just being a little dramatic, but he worries about her enough already...