The Rogue Mate

Chapter 28 - "Closure"

Blake’s pov:
The past week that’s followed since Gray’s death, has been set as a mourning week in the pack. Apparently, it’s a tradition to mourn a passed away pack-member, and everybody in the pack knew who Gray was, obviously. He was the Beta of the pack. Everybody is feeling the emptiness of the loss and Kate’s mother is wandering around arranging everything as well as having to think about a new Beta for the pack.

In my old pack…well, first pack, we never had such a thing over a past away pack-member. Of course, my father being the man that he was, I guess it’s no mystery. To him, mourning a dead one was showing weakness. So, being in the middle of a mourning-tradition within this pack, is new to me and I don’t entirely know where my place is, I mean other than next to Kate.

She took Gray’s death pretty hard. She’s been having dreams about him just walking through the door, but always end up realizing it won’t ever happen. It’s like when she sleeps, she forgets that Gray has died and keeps expecting him to show up when she wakes up, and then she realizes he isn’t, and really takes it to the heart. I stand by her and support her the best I can. She sleeps on my chest after the dreams. We don’t say too much to each other, but I guess that’s not what she needs. Her amount of pain is overwhelming, but at the same time understandable. This has been like losing her father all over again.

On the seventh day of mourning, they have the funeral day. Again, in my father’s pack, it was all about putting the body in a coffin and burying them, whilst here there is a firm set of stages through it, which I feel helps deconstruct the grief. Today is about honoring Gray and his achievements. The final stage is burning his body and releasing his soul into the air and out of this world. I find it to be some sort of peaceful ending. It’ll hurt for us having to let him go, but for some wicked and supernatural reason, I believe that Gray will find peace elsewhere.

Kate and I are both in our bedroom getting ready for the last ceremony. I’m finishing my last button on my shirt before I hear the door to the bathroom open on my left and Kate steps out in what seems to be her funeral-outfit, all-black. I take a slight deep breath at how beautiful she actually looks, despite of the circumstances. She takes a deep breath before she walks over to me.

- Could you pull up the zipper, please?

As much as I would’ve liked to just have her to myself, like I’ve had a couple of times the past week, I do as she asks of me and pull it up before I take advantage of the situation and place a weak kiss on her mark by her neck. After that, she turns around to face me. She’s fighting a battle inside her chest, I can feel it as I gently place my hands on her arms.

- Are you ready for this?

I ask softly as I place one of my hands on her cheeks, and she holds on to it for a moment and close her eyes for a bit longer than a standard blink.

- No…

She starts.

- …no, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for this. I keep expecting him to walk through the door and give me a hard time over something. I have trouble adjusting to all of this.

She answers with a shaky voice while shaking her head. I place a weak kiss on her forehead before I look back down on her eyes.

- I don’t know much about this ceremony, but I…I think this is all about providing closure for all of us.

I let out as she walks out of my grip and heads towards the bed, grabbing her shoes. I get my black coat-jacket and sit down next to her as the silence between us makes my heart beat even louder. After a while, she leans her head against my shoulder and I pull my arm around her.