seraphic [h.s]

chapter thirty one.

A/N: Just wanting to clarify, when the dialogue is spoken in Italian, the translation will be right after it in italics!!
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The church bells rang and I shot my eyes open before anybody would notice my dreary state.

I frowned at the open pamphlet in my hands and quickly closed it, not remembering why I'd picked it up in the first place. A diversion from my nap, maybe. "Goodmorning hot stuff." Avery whispered beside me, I turned to her with a scowl, "Ha Ha." The hard wood of the pew below dug into my ass from the long hour we'd been sitting on them, and I wiggled with a frown at trying to get comfy again.

It was Sunday, supposedly the lord's day, and somehow, by some force of a miracle, my mother and father had managed to drag me to church with them. I'd really only agreed because Avery had shown up at our door, using the cutest puppy dog eyes I'd seen, begging me come too because her parents had dragged her and her sister along.

Her parents thought of it as more of a fun outing, my parents thought of it as more of a life or death obligation. It was clear as day Avery and I weren't the dedicated little church girls we used to be.

Life had made sure of that.

I had stopped coming with my parents once I'd hit the beautiful age of eighteen, though I still remember very clearly their sudden shock of me not wanting to go anymore, as well as their verbalised cry of having to live with the fact that their youngest daughter would be going to hell.

But for old times' sake, I'd grabbed an appropriate white sundress, switched my chucks for a pair of black mary jane's— white socks underneath— and let my hair flow along my shoulders. I'd thought I'd done a pretty good job at resurrecting the cute church girl persona that I dreadfully used to carry, but somehow, my mother's words still rang through my mind even though she'd said them early this morning, 'Gesù, penseresti che stessimo andando in una casa di puttane.' Jesus, you'd think we were going to a whore house.

But I sent her an early morning smile, wiped my palms down my flowy dress, and descended the stairs like I hadn't even heard her at all.

I'd spent the entire day at the shop yesterday. Dee had shown me even more essential things and slowly slowly, my hours of being trained by a professional were being met. I'd had a shift at the diner last night as well, even though I'd barely been there at all lately, and I knew sooner or later I'd have to quit.

I'd also tried my hardest not to keep watching the shop door, as if by some miracle Harry would come waltzing through and sweep me up in his arms. This was real life, not a fairytale. And Harry would probably be deep in some gig or party that walking through the shop doors to surprise me, would not have even been on his mind at all.

"I'm uh, I'm really fuckin' hungry." Avery whispered in my ear again, leaning against my shoulder. I breathed out an annoyed— being I was hungry too— exhale, "Well, do you see any food here?" Her face crumbled at my words and my stomach growled just to back her up.

Laina poked her head out of the row we sat in, sending her angry glare towards Avery, "Could you refrain from swearing for like, the two hours that we're here for." Her whisper was filled with bitterness and I couldn't understand— much like Evie— why she still believed that she could be saved by simply not swearing while in these white walls.

Avery flew her hands up in defence and straightened her eyes forward. I flexed my foot back and forth on the kneeler that ran right across the length of the pew, my heels digging into the cushion as I mentally talked myself out of bursting into tears just because I was hungry. "Get your feet off there," My mother snapped in a whisper, her hand hitting my knees, "you don't need more reasons to go down." As in 'down', she meant hell, and I whispered a quiet 'sorry' because honestly, I already had enough reasons.