Cyborg (Loki fanfic) - on hiatus

Fever dream (Chapter 28) *A ฿ł₮ overdue Christmas and 3K special*

Pic comments (plus video, it's hilarious! Plus the 'bye Josh!')

Warnings; Panic attacks, mentions of mental health, depression, etc. near the end, mind-control angst, mentions of suicide, so suicide and self harm trigger warnings, yeah.

Also, I am REALLY sorry I didn't upload in like... 3 weeks. That was mostly just procrastinating and writer's block, so REALLY sorry about the guys!

30Oo ReaDs PeoPlE!!! 🌟🌟✨✨ (And not even 1 chapter in between the 2k special XD)

He groaned. Was he awake? Was he even alive? Wait- no, that was a stupid question to ask, if he was thinking then he was awake and alive, probably. He opened his eyes, only to look around the room, everything was clear, almost intensive so. Everything from the dull gray ceiling of the infirmary to the discarded heart rate monitor on his right was apparent. He felt oddly refreshed, his head felt lighter and as if he could think for himself. A surprise wave of euphoria washed over him, making him feel happier than he had been in a long time. When was the last time he had truly felt happy? He pondered to himself, the thought was sudden, and he didn't know how to answer. Perhaps when I and Thor were children? Maybe? He retorted. But, I was happy before Thor's coronation, was I not?

He chose not to ponder on that train of thought. The memories of his... brother? Not-Brother? He wasn't sure what to call him, perhaps simply Thor now. Half of him foolishly hopefully believed that deep down Thor still cared about him, another part of him was stuck in the horrible notion that Thor was still mad at him for attempting to kill him, while yes he did attempt to kill him multiple times before, the times he had were never to willingly cause harm. But he had actually wholeheartedly attempted to, and yet another part was simply full of bitter rage at Thor for throwing him off into the abyss- wait, hadn't he let go? Yes, he had let go. He had let go, Thor hadn't thrown him off, he had let go. Right? Right. He left that thought to stay for a bit. He had let go. Why had he let go? Since Odin couldn't bear to look at the monster he created anymore, and left him to be discarded? Maybe he and Hela did have something in common after all. He tried to think back to that day, or about Thor's coronation in general, but the memories were... blocked. Almost as if there was a haze blocking that part of his thoughts, they simply went blank at any mention of the coronation. Maybe he could ask Cassidy about that? She had a mind stone in her apartment- well, quite a few mind stones and infinity stones actually and relics.

He then cursed himself for his stupidity, he had the mind stone now, right? He remembered . . . yellow. A haze of yellow, bright yellow. Almost like Thor's blinding smiles. Almost. Thor's smiles blinded anyone within a 5-meter radius. The light of the stone, on the other hand, was a blinding sunny yellow. Speaking of the stone, hadn't a piece of it... come off? Did it stab him? Was this Valhalla? Was he even alive? Was he dead? Wait- no, he was alive, he was breathing, right? He paused for a moment, was he breathing? He felt the air around him, but he couldn't take it in, almost as if someone had placed a piece of cloth on his mouth and was slowly suffocating him. Just like the void. He hadn't realized that he'd started hyperventilating, and was desperately clawing at his throat, anything to get away from the horrid abyss. "P- Please." He mumbled, stumbling over his words at the lack of air. Please, just let me die, let me go. He thought, his subconscious ideas taking a sudden pessimistic turn. Please.

His mind went foggy, all remnants of the infirmary dissipating into a grey haze. A voice spoke up from the gloom. "You know we can't do that, Laufeyson." The voice said, the same eerie one from earlier in his dream- was it a dream? A fever dream, even? He wasn't sure. The voice droned on. "We still need you, and we'll make sure we get our prize when we find you Laufeyson." Was this even real? He wasn't certain of that either. That final word, Laufeyson echoed through the haze before his mind left, and the suffocation along with it.