✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

44. Safe Space

Tess was still yawning as she pushed the door open and walked out to Ffrances's flashy car. She hadn't slept well last night, wondering if what she'd done the day before had really been a good idea. She knew that she had to stop wetting the bed, and that was an important thing to her. And she'd found a way to suppress it, but she didn't know yet if it would prove to be effective. But that night, she'd found herself worrying about what Ffrances had said. About the chance of hiding an underlying problem. Would taking back control for an occasional night make it harder for her to fix the real problem?

If she was honest with herself, she wondered if that was really what she'd been worrying about. Could it be that most of the night, she'd been lying awake dreaming about new possibilities, her mind full of curiosity about all the things Ffrances could teach her.

"Earth to Tessa?" Ffrances's voice got through the haze of tiredness, and she shook her head in the hope of shaking loose its cobwebs. She'd been standing next to the car for several seconds, so she rushed to climb inside.

"It's Tess," she answered. "Not Tessa. Not short for anything."

"Okay. I'll remember that. So, coming with me to PRMCT?"

"Is that where... I don't know. I'm supposed to be meeting Spike. Haven't heard from him yet today, so I don't know where he is."

"He'll be somewhere near my office, I guess. He texted yesterday asking if he could stay another night. Don't know how long that's going to be for in the end, but it's good for now."

"Thanks." There didn't seem to be much else to say. They spent the rest of the journey talking about the new hypnotic suggestions in Tess's mind, and how she expected them to work in practice. It was an interesting conversation, but not one she needed to pay much attention to.

"Well, I'll be happy to try saying the trigger words any time you need them," Ffrances said in the end. "Just reminding you of the suggestions is enough to get you a little spaced out, it seems, which means that they should be pretty reliable."

"Wait... what did you ask?"

"I was just checking. Don't worry, that's not a trance. I just asked you if you could imagine yourself following the suggestions I gave. You might have zoned out a little because it reminds you of last night. But you remember the safety parts of all the suggestions I gave, which is a good point. So I think it's safe enough to try it. Just tell me when you want to... well, you know the rest."

Tess looked away, hoping to hide her blushing, and realised that the car had just stopped. She hadn't even realised they were so close to Pine Ridge. They had pulled into a parking area at the end of what looked like a residential street. She got out of the car, and in the absence of anything better to do walked along beside Ffrances. They crossed a large area where the ground was a maze of low tree roots and fallen leaves, and approached a gate which must presumably have been a rear entrance. The sign beside it said 'Pine Ridge Municipal Care Trust', but there was no other indication to suggest that this was a public entrance.

Ffrances led her quickly to a building with white stucco walls, and gave a cheery wave to a middle-aged guy who looked like he could have been a bodybuilder ten years before. He nodded as they passed.

""This is Tess," she said, without any further explanation. "She's coming in to see Spike. He still around?"

"Recreation room, I think."

"Thanks," she smiled and walked on.

"That was Adam. My secretary, technically. Spike seemed a little worried that his family might show up without warning if they knew he was here, and try to cause trouble. I don't know their issues, but I've seen people with those worries before. So... the rule is basically that nobody can come up here without getting past Adam, and he won't let anybody past without my approval."

"Not what I expected a secretary to look like."

"No. He does a lot of work that you'd typically expect to be done by an orderly. He's a gentle giant, but he's had some security training in a former career. They like to maximise the number of non-medical staff who can help to maintain order if it becomes necessary."

"I don't even know what you do, really," Tess realised. "This is the back of the hospital, isn't it?"

"Yes. I'm a trauma psychiatrist on paper, but I do whatever I'm needed to do. To help people, mostly. I could tell you all kinds of stories, but I think you'll find your friend through here. I'll catch up with you later. Take it you will want to hang around a while? I'll check on the baby again, and you can text me if you want a ride back. Okay?"

She swiped a card to open a door, which led to a small gym. There were three guys in there, working out with various machines. Spike was one of them, wearing clothes that looked almost brand new except for a large patch of sweat on his shirt. Tess nodded, and waved her off.

"Hey, Spike!" she called out, but he was already turning to face her.

"Yo!" he answered. "I can't believe they let me stay here. I don't even know who works here and who doesn't, it's not like any office I've ever seen."

"Hospital," Tess shrugged. "Guess they don't do things like most businesses. So Ffrances let you stay in her office?"

"Yeah. But it's like there's a mini apartment there, not just a desk job. Brass plaque on the door and everything, and her own coffee machine. Doctor Ffrances Jones, with a double-F. I've never seen that before, but one of the security dudes said that's like a ye Olde English spelling. Nice break from the family for a couple of days. Hope Shawna isn't worrying, though."

"She won't have noticed. How long are you planning to stay?"

"I'll go back tonight. I don't know what could happen if I'm away too long. If Duke gets mad and I'm not there–"

"Then you wouldn't be coming into school with a black eye again. You can't blame yourself for anything that happens when you're not there. That's not healthy."

"I know. But it's family. She needs me, even if she won't believe it. Anyway, I don't want to dwell on that. Fancy going into town, see if there's anything worth doing? I mean, it's nice having somewhere safe to stay, but I've barely done anything but read and work out."

"Sure. I better check with Ffrances. She said she'd pick me up later, so I don't know if she's expecting me to still be here. I mean..."

"You're an independent person, and you can make your own plans. But living in a house with other people sometimes means you have to work around them. Right? Nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Yeah," Tess mumbled, and gave a little laugh. She'd been thinking so hard about convincing the world she was an adult, she had automatically thought of calling the adults as a childish thing. But to anyone else, it wasn't such a big deal. She didn't need to worry so much, if she could just think objectively.

She sent a quick message to Ffrances, and got a reply right away. There was no problem with her spending the day in town, but if she was likely to be back after six could she let them know so they could have dinner without her. If Spike wasn't back tonight, he would need to sign out, and then there would be paperwork if he needed this little spot for a respite again; but that shouldn't be a problem. For today, they were free to do whatever they wanted.