142. Balls and Boyfriends

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This bonus chapter is dedicated to Maja. Thank you again for all your support!


"What do you think?" Tess said, doing a twirl. She could see herself in the mirror, and she was sure that her new dress looked fabulous. It had been well worth half an hour of struggling to get it on straight and fastened up correctly. She'd never found clothes that were so hard to put on before, and she really wasn't looking forward to any bathroom breaks during the ball, just because of the absurd number of concealed buttons and zippers that she would have to manipulate in exactly the right order to get out of the thing. But when she saw how she looked, so mature and sophisticated, she knew that it would be worth it. When she was standing by herself, nobody would doubt that she was an adult in this outfit. Of course, it would be different when joined the crowds of other people her age; she was small enough that she would probably still be taken for a child. But she hoped that the sophistication of this dress would make up for that.

"Oh, wow," a response came from her laptop speakers, just at the point where she'd stopped waiting for an answer. That was the problem with video calling around the world; it took several seconds for the signal to travel from San Lorenzo and be reconstituted into a video stream, which meant that there were often awkward moments when Tess and her parents tried to speak at the same time. But she was glad that she'd been able to show them how much she was growing up now.

"You like it?" she asked.

"Oh, yes," her mum answered enthusiastically, after the customary pause. "It looks so good on you. My baby girl is turning into a real young woman. It just goes to show, you can be a stunning beauty without having to reveal any skin."

"Yeah," Tess mumbled, before adding the obligatory "But I'm not a baby. Seriously, you always complimented me on being so mature and together. Can you stop calling me baby?"

"I'm sorry," her mum answered. "I don't want to upset you. I just thought after Christmas, you might accept that you can be a baby in some ways. It's not an insult, and I know you're going to be a responsible young woman tonight. But those... It's still a part of you, and you shouldn't try to deny it."

Tess found that her hands were shaking a little, gripping the handles of her bag so hard. But she couldn't deny it. She'd kept on wetting the bed while she visited her parents, and been so embarrassed to find she couldn't help acting a little childish afterwards. She'd felt so humiliated; and that was one of the reasons that this was only the second time she'd been in touch with her parents at all since she got home. As long as it wasn't mentioned, she could pretend to herself that they didn't know about her bedwetting; that it was a real secret.

"Look," she stammered. "Please... I don't even want to think about that. I'm seeing a doctor about it, and she thinks... I only just had a bunch of tests, and if that tells us what's causing it... Look, that doesn't make me a baby, okay? Can't you just let it go?" Tess really didn't know what she could say. And when she mentioned the last bunch of tests that Dr Lutwa had done, she knew that she should have received the results already. The fact that she was still waiting told her that nothing had appeared on all those scans; and a psychological problem was the only solution that made sense. She would need to start seeing a psychiatrist; and given that Ffrances already knew so much about her life, she was the most logical person to ask. But Tess knew she was still afraid to take that final step. And right now wasn't the time to think about it; not when she was supposed to be so excited about the summer ball.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," her mum answered, clearly surprised by the outburst. "You don't need to be ashamed of it. If that's what –" She cut off, and when Tess glanced at the tiny image on her screen, she could see that her dad had interrupted by putting his hand on her arm.

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