✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

138. Second Opinion

All the way to Greater Ashfields, Tess couldn't stop thinking about what Spike had said. It was hard to imagine him being the little kid, after he'd been so mature all the time she had known him. The first time they met, he had been stepping in to protect her from bullies, and he'd never stopped doing what needed to be done. But the more she thought about it, the more she realised that he'd never chosen that role. He acted mature and responsible because he didn't have any choice in it; and when it came to the really tough stuff, like his passport and reporting Duke to the police, the cracks had started to show. He was struggling to cope, and needed some support. An opposite to Tess in many ways: He would never have chosen to take all those responsibilities on himself, but when somebody needed help he wouldn't give up.

It made sense then to think that he'd miss being a child. How could she have failed to see that? And that time when he had listened to Ffrances's recording before coming to watch TV, he had seemed so happy and comfortable in the child role. So maybe that was a sign of who he was on the inside, beneath all the mental walls he had put up to protect himself from his stepfather and brothers. The real Spike, even. She was glad that he had found the courage to share that with her, and she hoped that she could find the confidence to help him enjoy not being in charge.

Ten minutes after getting off the bus, Tess was walking between shabby and run-down buildings. These were the shops that weren't popular enough to have a prime site in the city centre, and their frontages didn't have to attract passing trade because the intended customers already knew where they were. Or they were manufacturing units that were just barely scraping by on the cheapest premises they could manage. It wasn't like it was a bad neighbourhood, but there was a general air of desperation about the place. Tess pulled her coat tight around her shoulders, feeling a little chill even if it was just psychological. And then she came to the now-familiar door with the letters 'ADCCG' displayed beside it. Nobody could know what she was here for unless she told them; and most people wouldn't even know that those letters stood for 'Ashfields District Confidential Clinic for Girls'.

Tess had been here nearly a dozen times now, but it didn't stop her being embarrassed. She hated the thought that somebody might know she was coming here, as if they might magically be able to guess what was embarrassing her so much. Still, there was nobody on the street today, and she told herself that she didn't need to be embarrassed.

"Hey Tess!" She froze when she heard the cheerful voice. Somebody recognised her, anyway. She turned to see Mindy Ciertowczki, sitting near the door to the main waiting room. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Yeah, same," Tess said with a blush. She hoped that Mindy wouldn't ask why she was here; but at the same time she wondered what would bring Mindy here. She knew that was a hypocritical thought, but somehow it embarrassed her even more. After a little hesitation, she told the receptionist she was here and sat down near Mindy. It would have been rude to walk away after saying 'hi'.

"Looks like you come here often," Mindy said with a little smirk. "You went right to the desk without looking around."

"Yeah," Tess nodded. "The doctor wants to do some more tests. The last set were inconclusive. You know what it's like." She could say that without blushing; just so long as Mindy didn't ask what they were testing for.

"Yeah," Mindy said, and nodded. "Well, no. This is my first time here. It's not like I... well... I'm not the kind of girl who needs to come in here. I'm careful. But you're the last person I would have expected to see. I mean... Sorry, I guess that's kind of rude. But I thought you were too shy to... you know..."

"It's nothing like that!" Tess said, blushing furiously. "Look, I... I just got something and I thought I should see a doctor. And I don't want my cousin sticking her nose in, so I need to go see a doctor somewhere she doesn't know about." As she said it, she realised that wasn't really true. It probably would have been so much easier to pay a visit to the walk-in clinic at Pine Ridge, where they had better equipment and more doctors. Even if Ffrances found out, it wouldn't be a surprise to her. More than anything, Tess was realising she was embarrassed because she didn't want Ffrances and Gabby to know that this problem was seriously worrying her. Ffrances acted like it was something that would pass on its own, and Gabby must have been delighted to see Tess acting more like a baby than she had expected. Which made it really awkward any time she had to speak to either of them.