✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

129. Living Together

Author's note: Sorry this chapter is 15 minutes late. yesterday was a bit of a weird day, but I'm hoping to pick up the pace now that there should be less little details that I need to double check with previous chapters or the other book.

On Friday morning, Tess woke up in the grey spare room again. She sat up and stretched, and wasn't entirely surprised to find that her overnight diaper was soaked. She sighed, threw on a robe, and then went into the bathroom to change. And as soon as she was in her clothes for the day, she hesitated, thinking back over the last week. She'd been in the hospital for several days, sleeping in a chair, and had been so worried about Spike that she didn't even stop to think about her problem. Until the week before, she had been waking up wet two or three times each week; but in the hospital, it had just never crossed her mind.

That was important. She would have to remember to let Dr Lutwa know about that change when she came to her next appointment. It could have been important, not least because it seemed to disprove the theory that her problem was somehow psychological. During that week she'd been more stressed than ever, and putting even more pressure on herself to be the responsible one and fix everything. And she hadn't wet herself the whole time.

Was there any kind of psychological pressure that would get better when she was pushing herself harder? She didn't know, but it seemed to give a new direction to any attempts to guess what might be wrong. Or perhaps it was because she'd had a chair. A reclining chair, for sure, but only the slightly clunky one that the hospital provided by default. Was it possible that could make the difference? Would she be safe if she was sitting up?

She couldn't guess what it might be, but she knew for sure now that she wasn't mysteriously cured. So she had two guesses now; that her bedwetting was alleviated either by sleeping while sitting up, or by letting her maternal instincts dominate her actions and taking control of the situation. She couldn't really guess whether it was a physical or psychological problem, but she was sure that Dr Lutwa would have more guesses, and would know the best way to investigate further.

When she got back to her room, after a rushed shower, she was starting to feel alive again. But then she thought about their plans for today, and how easy it would be to keep Spike from finding out about her little problem. Would she even be able to hide it? She decided to start the day by doing the essential stuff in any case; she dropped down to the floor in the spare room, and pulled out all the packs of adult diapers from under the bed. Then she carried them two at a time across the landing to her own room. To the nursery. She would have to live in there again, because the spare room needed to be clear. She'd thought about it the night before, and had set the alarm on her phone to wake her early while Gabby was driving her back from Upper Ashfields.

Everything went smoothly, and she was carrying the last pack across when she saw Gabby coming towards her down the stairs.

"Oh, you got new diapers?" Gabby asked. "Poor baby, you shouldn't have to buy those things yourself. I can order them, you know. There are so many nice designs, and if you let me know which ones you want–"

"I'm not an adult baby," Tess answered curtly. "I've got these because they're functional, and only until the doctors can work out what's wrong with me. They don't need to be cute. And I really want to keep your age regression stuff separate from my actual problem. Okay?"

"I can get whatever you want. Just let me look after you. You don't need to shoulder the problems of the world all the time. And I'm sure that you'll find it gets to be less of a problem once you let yourself accept help when you need it. Even if you won't let yourself admit it, I bet that you're really missing the time in littlespace after the week you've had. You can let me help you to feel better, can't you? If it's stress based, I bet your problem has been getting worse all the time you were away, so an evening as a little one will be just what you need. How about tonight? I'll be giving Ffrances a special gift today, and I think it would be wonderful for us to spend some time together as a family later."