✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

148. Coming Clean

This chapter is dedicated to Alice, with thanks for supporting me. Thank you!

"I'm sorry," Tess whimpered as her bladder finally managed to finish emptying. The puddle spread almost right across the kitchen floor; she couldn't believe how much she had peed. Her legs were soaked, and there was no way that Ffrances and Spike could be unaware of what had just happened. "I don't understand... I don't know what happened. I didn't need to go. Honestly, I don't think... I don't know why I... I really didn't need to go, and then it came out of nowhere. Could there be something wrong with... I don't know. My nerves or something? So the signals don't get through?"

"I don't think so," Ffrances shook her head. "You were squirming, visibly struggling to hold it. I don't think that can happen unless you know what's happening. And I think you know that too. If you think this might be some kind of neurological issue, I'd think you should speak to a doctor about it. I can help you set it up if that's easier."

"No!" Tess yelled. She'd never expected this kind of confrontational attitude from Ffrances. From Gabby, perhaps, but not Ffrances. She was always the understanding one, who prized choice over anything else. But now she was so stern; and Tess knew she must really have done something wrong.

"No," she repeated, in a softer voice. "I don't need... I mean... I've already seen a doctor. I..." she glanced over at Spike, wearing one of her old dresses. This really wasn't how she had wanted him to find out about the one secret she didn't have the courage to share. "I mean... it's embarrassing to talk about. I've got an appointment. About something that might be... kind of related, I guess? This was a big surprise to me, nothing like this has ever happened before, and I don't know what it is. But you have to believe me, I'll talk to the doctor about it. I promise. This is something I need to sort out, and I can do it myself."

Tess realised that she was shaking, feeling like she'd plunged into the worst possible time to have to bring this subject up. As she looked around, she saw that Spike had already gone. She felt like she should have been panicking, trying to hide this from him, but he already knew too much. She would have to tell him what had happened, if she could even understand it herself, and she still had no idea how to start that conversation. But at the same time, she was sure that he was prepared to wait until she was comfortable talking.

"It's okay," Ffrances told her. "I don't know what you're going through, not really, but I can see how upset you are. I'm sure this isn't how you expected the day to go. So how do we make it go better? Do you want to finish the movie?"

"Yeah," Tess nodded. "But I... I don't know what happened. I shouldn't be having problems like that in the time it takes to watch a movie, and now I've made a mess, and... I need to clean up, and I can't stop thinking about it, what I should have done differently, or how I can apologise for that. Do you think..."

"Listen," Ffrances interrupted as Tess descended into babbling again. "It's clear you're upset. And I'll say that this isn't healthy; you need to deal with the problem, whatever kind of problem it is. But right now, we can just go back to watching the end of Striker. Okay? All the rest, about getting you in to see a specialist, and making sure that you can take care of yourself, that can come later. Okay?"

Tess nodded, and then turned to see Spike coming back with a mop in his hands. Always the practical and mature one, no matter how much he didn't want to be.

"Thank you," she said. "And I'm sorry. I'd better get changed, and try not to think about this anymore. I swear, I didn't realise... I just got so mad when you were talking to me like a little kid, and then I was pushing back without even thinking you might be right. I should have known better then. Was I really..."