✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

87. Combat and Compromise

Pine Ridge Municipal Care Trust wasn't particularly busy. Although Christmas Day had passed and many of the staff were back at work, those with families were still happy to take a few more days. The hospital was open for an unpredictable surge of holiday accidents; and Ffrances explained that mental health services were always stretched thin at this time of year. But most people were more than happy to put off an appointment, and so all the visitor parking was half empty.

Tess found that she was clenching her fists as they came closer to the building. She knew she wouldn't be able to stay long; she was just here so that she could catch up with Spike, and possibly admonish him for not responding to many of her messages. Ffrances had said that there was nothing wrong with him; he didn't need the services of the hospital, and there hadn't been some new family drama to force him here. But that still didn't explain what he was throwing him into so much that Tess's messages only got terse replies, and he didn't respond at all when some of their other friends had reached out.

"You missed him?" Ffrances asked. "Don't be so nervous. Look, there's not some kind of problem, he's just getting into something new. Maybe a little obsession helps him to master the basics. I know you wish he would have talked to you more, but at your age... well, you're both mature for your age, but I think Spike might still overestimate his ability to think things through. He'll learn, but I hope you won't be too mad about him dropping off the radar."

"He missed me too," Tess mumbled, and then her perspective changed. Before she went away, she had been getting closer to Spike. She had been looking forward to seeing him at every opportunity. While she'd been unable to see him in person because she was in San Lorenzo, she had hoped to stay in touch by a steady flow of text messages. But she'd been having a good time with her family, catching up with her older brother, and most of what she had to say had been about the family experience. Now she suddenly realised that she'd been enthusiastically oversharing about an experience that Spike was missing out on. His dad had died before Tess ever came to this town, and the remnants of his family could only cope by crashing through life in a perpetual drunken haze. Hearing from her could easily have been a reminder of the holiday spirit he couldn't experience, as well as the fact that she was far away. In the circumstances, she could understand it would be hard for him to say anything about his day.

"It's not just... obsession," she said. "You kept on saying that Christmas is hard on a lot of people. It's a time for family, and he hasn't got one. Last year he celebrated with us, and this year he's been alone. I wish I could have invited him, but..."

"You could ask him to join us tomorrow. If you're comfortable sharing that part of your life."

Tess couldn't help laughing a little when she thought about that. There was no way she could come clean about the weird games Gabby wanted to play. Or even her own growing fascination with mental transformation. She would have to tell him about that stuff sooner or later, but she wasn't ready now. But was she shutting him out from a chance at feeling like family? Was there some way she could organise another extra Christmas to help Spike feel better?

She shook her head, and realised Ffrances was still watching her; wondering how she felt about that. Tess didn't even know herself if she would have the courage to tell Spike about all her problems this year. So she made a promise to herself that they would talk eventually, and changed the subject back to the important one.

"I thought I could cheer him up by sharing what I was up to. So he could live vicariously, I suppose. But if I was just reminding him of what he hasn't got, maybe I should have been more... Do you think he'll want to see me now?"

"I'm sure of that much. Come on, we can't stay too long. Ten minutes, okay? A quick catch up. I'll give you that comic, catch up with my paperwork while you two talk, and then I can give you a ride back. I'll only just have time to drive to the house and then back here before my shift."