✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

97. Learning Who's in Charge

Tess found herself shaking a little as she tried to fight against the way her body was moving. She knew she was just a little girl now, and she had agreed to this. She was helpless, and she was going to poop in her diaper just like a baby. Ffrances was even littler, but they hadn't said the magic words to her. She was safe from this ultimate humiliation. And Gabby was just grinning, waiting for the humiliation to be over so she could gloat. She wanted Tess to be a complete baby and now she had everything she wanted. Tess couldn't believe that she'd let herself get so carried away with the regression.

"No!" she whimpered, dread of what was about to happen taking away any confidence from her voice. "I don't wanna!" The childishness of those words just seemed to emphasise how dumb she'd been to get herself in this situation. She fought against the pressure in her mind and in her bowels, but even when she pushed as hard as she could, she knew there was nothing she could do to stop the inevitable. The intriguing power of the posthypnotic suggestions had been turned against her again.

And then something clicked in her mind. She'd sounded like a child, sure, but she wasn't thinking like one. She had all the grown-up words in her head, and she was dreading the next few moments without the unquestioning acceptance of a child. She didn't want this to happen, and that disgust had pushed her all the way back to thinking kind of normally. Maybe it was one of the safety suggestions that Ffrances had insisted on; she still didn't exactly understand how those had worked. But it was clear in her mind that this wasn't an irresistible degradation. This was the last second at which she could still hit the brakes. Gabby would be disappointed, perhaps even angry with Tess for interrupting her game. Tess didn't want to face whatever kind of revenge that subconscious bitterness could produce; probably making her life just a little harder in small ways for the next couple of weeks. But there was no way she could go through with this now.

"I can't do this," she said, still struggling to make her body believe that. "I'm an adult." The clouds vanished from her mind like someone had dropped a curtain. She could think clearly again; she could remember her day of renewed childhood, and she could think clearly about what she'd liked and what she hadn't. It was startling just how quickly everything changed; it was certainly quicker than the words that had made her young again in the morning.

She straightened up and tried to look dignified. Or at least as respectable as she could, given the way she'd just been behaving. She still felt bad about interrupting her cousin's fun, but she was certain now that she wasn't willing to go so far into childhood again. And she promised herself that this time, she wouldn't be so forgiving.

During their last regression experiment, when they had tried taking photos in the garden, Gabby had tried to make her wet her pants. She thought she had been clear in saying she didn't want that to happen again, but apparently not clear enough. Perhaps the issue had been confused because a carelessly worded trigger earlier in the day had led to her peeing without Gabby's involvement. But still, it should have been very clear that she wasn't willing to go beyond that.

"It's okay," Gabby leered, speaking in the kind of condescending tone that would have been more appropriate for a real baby. "You're only little. Now, let's get you changed before you get a rash."

"No. I'm sorry, I thought I could play along. But that's just too much." Tess felt guilty; she'd really intended to play along with Gabby's fantasies, but when it came to it she hadn't been able to. She could only apologise again, and hope that Gabby would understand. At the same time, she was berating herself on the inside for being too soft. Gabby must have known she was doing something that would make Tess uncomfortable, and she'd said it anyway. It was her fault that the day was coming to a premature end. But no matter how much Tess reassured herself, she couldn't stop feeling guilty about not living up to her end of the bargain; and she kept on babbling meaningless apologies. She tried to explain at least, to say that one suggestion had gone too far and broken the headspace. But she wasn't sure how much of that Gabby was ready to understand. She was acting like Tess was still a child in some ways.