Hongjoong - Im here ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・

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Angsty...this kind of how I feel when I'm having a depressive episode where's my hongjoong? I wrote this at like 2am last night

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┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. 。˚    °
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I watched as the clock read 11:38AM, the first time i looked at it, it was only 10PM. I had fallen asleep for maybe two or three hours before I was awake again.

I sighed as I stared at the ceiling, trying to find shapes in the wall. I could hear my phone buzzing every so often but I didn't have the energy to pick it up.

I truly hated today.

I felt numb, but so sensitive at the same time. I wanted nothing more than to crawl up into a small ball and completely shut anything and everyone out for a while. But I craved comfort from someone, I couldn't find the strength to call him. I didn't want him to see this side of me.

Rolling to my left, I felt the tears that had built up so long finally make there way down my face. Once they started, they didn't stop.

Soon it was 2:53PM and a knock at my door was heard. Every fiber in my being was yelling at me to answer the door, because I knew exactly who it could be, but my mind told me to not waste my time, he wouldn't be here.

My eyes and head started to hurt really badly, maybe because of all the crying I've done, or the lack of sleep, or because i havent eaten anything. It could also be all and more. I just covered my head with a pillow and rolled over, shutting my eyes, longing for peace.

An hour later I was awoken by my phone vibrating non stop. Someone was trying to call me, again. My phone seemed closer than it was before so I reached over and accepted the call.

"How bad is today, sweetheart?" His voice asked, as a look of concern took over his features. He had facetimed me but my room was too dark for him to see me. "Your lights are off, you haven't answered anyone, and you didn't open the door for me. I assume it's pretty bad."

Before I knew it, a few tears had slipped down my cheeks. "I want to fucking die, hongjoong." I said honestly, my voice feeling weak.

His face dropped, "You've had worse days, and look you're still here. Y/n, I'm here with you. Do you want me to come over? I have the spare key, but I didn't know how bad it was so I didn't know if you would like me to go over." The thought of having him here with me seemed great.

"Please." I said, not being able to find the right words.

"Ill be there in 10 minutes." He said before he hung up the call, since he was getting into a car. Not even a minute after he hung up, I got a text message from him. It was a 9-minute voice message.

I slammed my head into my pillows and hit play. The audio message was just him talking about random things, but it distracted me from my own thoughts so it was refreshing.

As soon as it ending I could hear the turning of the key at my door, then footsteps came near my bedroom door. A quiet knock tapped against it before Hongjoong appeared, carrying a bag of food.

He switched on the lights on the ground, so they weren't too bright, then he walked over and set the bag down on my dresser, before joining me on the bed.

He started by picking my head up and placing it on his shoulder, while his hand went up and down my back in a soothing manner.

"You're okay, I'm here with you." He repeated in my ear, humming one of my favorite songs.


a/n: I just woke up, I was supposed to go to school today. It's Friday, 10:11AM

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