Animal

Chapter 25

♛𝕳ope 𝖂ikaelson ♛

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Caroline drives the car through the gates of the manor and I am overcome with extreme anxiousness. I just didn't like when my family was involved in my life, it made me feel worthless, stupid, and Just an overall burden to them. When I was fourteen I was bitchy to push them away, I guess I did. But I was a kid, I wanted them to call, I wanted to cry in there arms, and celebrate holidays. I wanted people who cared about me and showed it, Caroline has been the closest thing I've had to a mother after my mom's passing. But It never felt like enough, I was told family was everything when I was little, but my family fled after my parents died. I spent months and years crying myself to sleep thinking about how all this was caused by me.

As I've gotten older it has been easier to deal with, being a leader means making difficult choices and most if not all choices have sacrfice or a negative effect. But some nights every so often I cry my self to sleep. It's funny how I was supposed to be the Hope for the family when all I caused was destruction.

"Hope are you ok" Josie ask snapping me out of my mind.

"Yeah" I clear my throat and try muscle through all of this.

Caroline hands me my bag and Josie hers and we all slowly walk into the house

"Hope" Aunt Freya sets her book down and runs to give me a hug.

She looked different her hair was grown out and she looked slightly older, but her perfume and her demeanor was the same. It was like nothing had changed but on the other hand everything had changed.

We hug for a long time and my gut wrenches when she pulls away. Its been familier feeling these days the gut wrenching feeling I got when I was released from an embrace, like they weren't going to comeback and it was the last hug or touch I got from them.

"I'm going to get your Aunt keelin and Nik" She turns to get them from upstairs but then she turns and looks at me with a somewhat puzzled and hurt expression

I look down and see my hand tightly gripping her hand. I must have subconsciously grabbed her hand, this is so embarrassing. I quickly let go and mutter out "Sorry".

She thinks for a moment and then answers "It's okay you can come upstairs and get them with me "

"No, It's okay, I'm good" I nod reaching behind me discreetly for Josie's hand which she quickly grabs it which relieves some of my anxiety about the situation.

But before I can worry further Aunt Freya and Aunt Keelin carrying little Nik are rushing down the main stairs. Keelin passes Nik off to Aunt Freya and then pulls me into a loving embrace, She hadn't changed as much as Aunt Freya but there were subtle differences like the way she smelt, but so many other things were the same like the way that her nails were always chipped from hospital work or work around the house. She pulled away from the hug and I was left with same feeling of emptiness .

"Aunt Rebekah Caught the first plane over she should be here soon," Aunt Freya pulls me out of my thoughts.

Josie,Caroline, Aunt Freya and Aunt Keelin all introduce each other and make small talk but I pay little attention to the conversation until I interrupt "Can I lay down I feel tired" 

"Sure" Aunt Freya swiftly answers and I slowly tread up the stairs to my old bedroom

At the Salvatore school whenever I didn't want to be around someone or just deal with people in general I would excuse myself using the excuse to lay down. Caroline knew it, Josie knew it and My Aunts could have probably guessed it. But I was a actually somewhat tired I haven't gotten good sleep for months and now that I was getting better sleep I have been taking advantage of it, and when you're asleep your problems disappear at least for a little while. It why I always used to try to fall asleep when I was on the ride back from a mission with Alaric unless he was proud which was extremely rare.

I walk into my old room and everything is how I left it, well except for the new sheets put on the bed before my arrival. I plop down on my bed and close my eyes quickly falling asleep like I did in the car

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