Animal

Chapter 37

♛𝕳ope 𝖂ikaelson ♛

TriggerWarning

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I wake up to the sound of the chattering of my family and Caroline. I groan unable to focus on the noise.

"Hope" Freya taps my shoulder.

"Let me sleep" I hide my face in the pillow.

"Love we can give you twenty more minutes, but after that we need to chat." Rebekah strokes my hair.

I groan agreeing to her stupid terms.

"Thank you love" She kisses the top of my head and then they all slowly exit the room. When I hear the door shut I lift my head. I see Josie star-fished and hanging out of the sheets and it makes me smile for a moment. Then my face droops back to the frown I usually. I grab my clothes from my dresser and scurry into my bathroom.

I tiredly slide on my leggings and hoodie. And I look in the mirror and I see my stupid upset face. Why can't I just be happy, I have a beautiful woman in my bed. I grab my old shower bag from the last time I was here and slowly pull out the razor blade. I know the others are listening in to what I'm doing and smelling for the blood.

I turn on the sink and I slowly start making cuts down my arms. I want to feel the pain of each small movement across my arm. The pain makes me cry, but at least I know I can still feel. Which only makes me crave it more. The controlled cuts start to become more violent and wild .

"Stop it Hope" Josie tries to snatch the blade but I am entranced. "Stop it" She takes hold of it and take it from my hands. She pulls against me so hard its exhausting to press it to my arms. It made me grow angry and I elbowed her so she would let go. Josie stumble backward onto the ground making a large thud. But I didn't care because of how anxious it mad me when the cuts disappeared. Like I was going to loose the good feeling I had.

I felt two strong arms wrap around me and then I heard a soft sorrowfully voice "Please put it down."

"I don't want too" I cry out.

"I know you don't want to" She replies in the same sad tone.

"What if I don't feel anything when I do" I cry choking on breaths.

"I promise you will" She holds me

I cry turning off the water and setting the blade in the sink, watching the blood spin away down the drain. I turn around and hug Aunt Rebekah tight.

"I'm so proud of you" she holds me tighter and lets me get my tears and blood all over her.

"Are your arms okay " She asks still holding me in a tight hug.

"I don't know" I state muffled by her shirt fabric

"Can your Aunt Keelin take a look" She asks.

"Ok" My voice wobbles.

She slowly pulls away but I still hold onto her arm almost hiding behind her.

"I just going to take a quick look" She slowly moves my arm to take a look. "The remaining cuts might take a while to heal considering how much blood she lost."

I bow my head in disappointment trying to hide behind Aunt Rebekah.

"I think we should lay down for a bit, " She rubs my shoulder while Keelin wraps my arms with the gauze from the first aid kit.

I nod at her and she slowly guides me back to bed and I lay down and shut my eyes just wanting for everything to stop.

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Sorry I haven't updated in a bit my laptop charger broke, and my malnourished ass thought it was smart to sign up for cross country. So you know what that means, I'm so exhausted I can barely form sentences.