Chapter 46

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TW: Guns (briefly mentioned)
—————————Hope—————————————
In the last few minutes of the movie Aunt Freya peaks her head inside my room.
"Hey Freya,you came right before the best part." Kol grins patting a spot for her on the bed.
Freya slowly walks into the room in a way that resembled a wounded animal.
"Did you have a nice nap" Keelin ask as Freya slowly slides onto the bed.
"Shhh" Nik glares and grabs Freya's hand and starts playing with her wedding ring.
Freya just stares at the screen as if in a trance and then she asks "What are we watching?" In an empty tone.

"Heathers"He answers looking over at Rebekah and then over at Keelin but she notices me observing and she quickly turns back to the TV.

Strange but I ignore their odd behavior and try to pay attention to the movie

" How do I turn of the god damn bomb asshole " the TV blares
"Fuck you" Kol whispers then the JD yells it.
*BANG*
Freya's full body quakes at the sound.
"Holy shit" The TV blasts before Kol can turn it down.
Blood was absolutely pouring out of JD and Freya was just full body shaking and then began Kol, Rebekah, and Keelin looking at each other again.
" Will you excuse me" Freya shakily gets of my bed and sprints into the bathroom.
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Freya
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As soon as I lock the door I felt myself spiraling. I grip the sink for dear life and accidentally hit the soap bottle.
"Damn it" I swear under my breath.
My wife knocks on the door " Are you ok in there?" She asks
"Yeah" I choke.
"Ok, I'm out here if you need anything" she answers back
I try to remember some coping techniques that were recommend to me but I feel like I can't do anything except just exist.
I thought I could handle seeing blood again for Pete's sake it's my brother and sister's favorite thing to have but I just can't look at it and not think of Hope bleeding out in my arms. I couldn't pull the scissors out and I didn't have the heart to try again with the cries she was letting out.

I was supposed to be watching her she was supposed to be safe I promised I would keep her safe; but, she almost bled out on my watch. I wonder very often that if I would have kept a better eye on her the maybe she wouldn't have had to go away and she would have been able to take Josie to Jr. Prom and she wouldn't be behind in school.

All I can do now is sit in the bathroom corner and cry about how messy things have become. How I cannot be near my niece without thinking that she's slipping through my fingers. Or thinking that if I take my eyes off her just once I'll lose her again while also worrying that if I'm not around her and I lose her I'll regret it. It's just this constant spiral of pain it's the only reason I stayed even when I knew this movie could potentially set me off.

I just can't lose her

My phone pings

"Open up" Rebekah texts.
I hesitate but I don't want hope to think anything else is seriously wrong.
She waits until the door is shut to ask "Hey are you ok?" She crouches down to my level.
"I'm trying" I answer "Does Hope-" I worry
" No, Hope doesn't know, we figured you should tell her but don't wait to long she's too intuitive for her own good." Rebekah sadly smiles.

" I will, I just don't want her to think that this is her fault" I sigh trying to slow my breathing.

"We'll make sure she knows that, because I don't want you to have to pretend you're all better and try to do it all and inevitably burn yourself out" Rebekah holds my hand

" I promise I'll tell her soon"

" And I'm going to give you a hug because you're to embarrassed to ask for them unless you object" Rebekah waits for any objections and then hugs her older sister tightly
"Thanks Bex I needed that" I start breathing normally again.
" What else am I here for" she smiles."Feel free to take your time too Kol just turned on Addams Family Values"

"Ok" I start my calming techniques again and Rebekah leaves.

"What happened?" Hope asks.
"Your Aunt Freya tripped over your bathroom rug but she should be okay now." Rebekah smiles.

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It's so hard being the fruity chronically ill weird girl in a small town but some one had too 😭 Anyways I will probably be updating more frequently again because I very stressed out and this is how I cope. Anyways thank you guys,gals, and pals for the votes and comments! Don't worry Josie will be coming up soon but I'm taking advantage of where I am in the story to explore everyone's trauma.

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