Animal

Chapter 32

♛𝕳ope 𝖂ikaelson ♛

TriggerWarning:

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"I-I-I need C-Caroline" I stutter out choking on tears "Please"

 Aunt Freya quickly gets up and runs out my door. 

I start wheezing thinking of tearing up my hand,or trying to find any relief from the agony I'm in.

"Hope," Caroline scurries over 

"I can't," I wheeze "help"

"Slow down," She asks softly 

" I want to, but I d-don't" I choke out.

"Okay, do you want talk, draw, watch a movie,or something else" She calmly asks

"Drawing maybe" I choke then I slowly sit up letting my knees tuck into my chest

Aunt freya quickly scrambles to bring my sketch book and my pencil case. I eagerly open the sketch book and my pencil case, but I find myself overwhelmed by all the sharp objects inside. I quickly throw it to the ground trying to get as much distance as I can from the sharp objects. But instead it spills them on the floor revealing them all, making me think of all the ways I could release with them.

"Stop" I sob pulling at my hair.

"Hope let go of your hair, please talk to me" She calmly asks and holds out her hands.

I slowly untangle my hands from my hair and place them into her hands.

"Good" She softly praises me for such a small feat."What triggered you" she calmly asks.

But my heart rate kicks back up thinking about him and I try to let go of her hands.

"Hope please give me back your hands" She pleads.

I gingerly lower my hands back into hers.

"Good" She praises again then she asks softer then before "Can you please try to tell me what got you upset, but if it becomes so much you want to let go stop."

"Ok" I stutter trying to calm down "You won't let go" I anxiously blurt out

"I won't let go until you do" She responds softly an calmly.

"Ok,okay" I try to process all of my flooding emotions "I-I was painting, and I was focused but Aunt Freya was talking to me and a-asking me questions, I answered them but they kept going deeper" I shiver and twitch. "She asked m-m-me if I-I, if h-he" I struggle "I-If h-he ev-ver touched me, "

Her eyes fill with sorrow "He did" She softly asks ile Aunt freya walks away with the pencil case

"Kind of" I look down ashamed "I'd leave b-before it went to far, but he was a handsy drunk" I try not to start hyperventlating or cry again. "Then-n I-I saw the stuff in my p-pencil case and I wanted too so bad"

"I promise I won't leave until you feel better." She comforts 

I start bawling and she pulls me into her arms letting me cry all over her blouse.

"I'm sorry" I lift my head off her shoulder composing myself and tearing myself away.

"For what" she asks softly still holding onto my hand to show she was staying.

"For crying" I hang my head in embarrassment.

"There's no need to apologize you did what I asked, and everyone crys and I would rather you cry then bottle it up." She looks at me sympathetically.

I shyly climb back into her arms embarrassed by my vunerability, but quickly wraps her arms around me to show me my vunerability is accepted. It feels like a small weight was removed from my chest,sure it feels like I have hundreds of the small weights holding me down but it still made me feel better. I rest my head into the crook of her neck trying not to think of how awkward this is.

After a moment she asks "Does this make you feel better?"

"Yes" I whisper almost dociliy .

"What about this makes you feel better?" She asks trying to figure out how she can help me.

"It makes me feel safe, I trust you and its like I can just focus and not worry about anything." I answer. "But this so stupid" I glance up at her.

"It's not stupid." She replys.

"It makes me feel like a todler and its so embarrassing,but it makes me feel so much better,but its just weird because I'm 17 not 7." I frustratedly try to explain.

"It's not weird Hope it works,Maybe it works because you're being touched in a positive way, or maybe it works you know I'm not abandoning you because I'm holding on, but who cares how it works because it makes you feel better," She calmly argues

"Thank you" I sigh relaxing in her arms.

"No problem" answers.

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Sorry this took so long to write I got stuck twice while trying to write. Thank you for the comments and votes they mean a lot and they always make my day to see someone enjoyed it or could relate.