✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

50. One Step Back

Tess woke up again, and even before turning the alarm off her first thought was to check her diaper. It had been going on for long enough that it was a habit now. It was dry, and she allowed herself a little smile. She didn't get all excited about it like the day before, but she could take it as a little proof that she wasn't a baby any longer. Or that this episode in her life was going to be wrapped up soon; every dry night in a row increased the probability that it would never happen again.

She sat up, silenced the alarm, stretched, and then reached for her phone. She picked it up before the second alarm even started, but she knew she still needed to start moving quickly. That was one of the disadvantages of living so far from the school.

She was going to see if there was any news from her friends; anything she needed to reply to, or a reminder of events at school that might have slipped her mind. There was no way that an exam or presentation would have gone past without someone stressing about it, or a wish of good luck from one of her friends.

"morning, how's things baby girl?" she read the words, and all other thoughts slipped from her mind. Why was somebody calling her that? Tess stared at the screen for a long minute, unable to comprehend what she was seeing. It was the kind of insult she'd heard a hundred times at previous schools, and there were still some people at Raybridge High who thought it was funny to call her a baby. But her friends knew how much she hated any reference to her small size, and none of them would ever say that. And it wasn't exactly easy to find someone on Clatter, not unless you were both looking for each other. That was kind of the point; it was a space for friends old and new, not for being stalked by people you wanted to distance yourself from. But eventually she managed to fight back the shock and tap further, to see who could have spoken to her like that.

The message was from grandiel. Not a name she was familiar with, but someone she'd spoken to on a few occasions. A trombone player, if she remembered correctly, and he'd complimented her on a video she shared of a recital. He'd never said anything like that before.

"Don't call me baby," she punched in the line and sent it right away, a direct response. That would show how irritated she really was, even if it was visible to all their mutual friends and anyone who could see the original line as well. The screen pulsed once and then there was already a message waiting for her. Two messages, and then three. From friends, online and in the real world. Nobody she was really close to, but they were all saying the same thing. That yesterday morning, she had said that she didn't mind being called a baby.

Tess was about to respond with an angry line that she would never have said that. That she hated being called a baby more than anything else. But then she remembered the day before. She'd been so excited about waking up dry. She'd been proud of it, like really proud, even though it was the norm. She should have wondered about that, but at the time it hadn't seemed unusual at all. Thinking back now, she wondered if it could have been a side-effect of using hypnosis to avoid wetting the bed. Ffrances had told her that the suggestion might make her feel proud of it, because it was easier to do something like that with an emotional involvement.

She'd been feeling so proud that she had said something stupid without meaning to. That was entirely possible, especially when she thought about how much Gabby had done to herself without meaning to. Under hypnosis it was entirely possible to make a mistake without even realising.

"I must have been tired," she answered. Then changed it to "drunk" and back again a few times. Which would sound best to a bunch of people she barely knew anything about? After thinking way too long, she swapped out for a meme about an annoying cousin swiping her phone. It would shield her from any further mockery, and she was pretty sure that none of these people would know much about her living situation, so they would probably buy it. She added the comment "/nj/stg" and hoped that the assault on her most vulnerable point would be over.