GHOST SQUAD

CHAPTER 5- LOVE

Tristan stood in his bedroom, staring at the frame that hung on his wall. It was a picture of him and Alice, clicked by his mom just two days ago, right outside his house. Alice had a hand placed on his shoulders and was laughing at something he had said, while he gazed lovingly at her.

"Pure candid!" He thought to himself.

Tristan wondered why they had never clicked a picture when they were kids. Had they never gotten a chance? Now that he thought of it, he realized he couldn't remember much about how Alice had looked when they were small. It was as if that time of his life was filled with fog.

Whatever the case, one thing he was sure of was that he loved Alice and he had finally said it to her. Tristan had to admit that was not at all how he had imagined he would tell her how he felt, when he had climbed through her bedroom window. 

Tristan had imagined it to be cute and romantic. Instead, he had completely lost his senses when he had seen Knave there and had confessed in an emotional outburst. He could not help it. The only thing that had been running through his mind was the fear of losing Alice to someone who she probably had some sort of connection with. 

Tristan had definitely not expected Alice to reciprocate his feeling by telling him she was very tired. He had not wanted to leave her. Not when she had looked so small and fragile as if she would break anytime. 

Tristan wanted to call her now, but then remembered that Alice did not own a cell phone. Another thing which was so strange about her mother. As far as Tristan understood, she did not want Alice to be spoiled by a cell phone.

Sometimes, Tristan thought Alice's mother did not want to share her with anyone. It was a miracle that she had allowed Alice to remain friends with him. Tristan often wondered what he had done to earn her trust. Sophie was a woman beyond his understanding. She always gave him the chills, but he had never mentioned so in front of Alice.

Tristan tore his gaze away from the picture and looked towards his bed. The covers were moved away, as if beckoning him. Slowly, he dragged himself towards it. The only thing that would help him now was some sleep. 

Tristan peeked at the small alarm clock placed on his bedside table. It was way past midnight. With a sigh, he laid down on the bed and was soon fast asleep.

"Tristan?"

Tristan's eyes flew open. He instantly recognized her voice, even though he had been in deep sleep. 

Alice stood over him, looking as if she had been awake for ages. Her eyes were rimmed red. She had left her hair open, and Tristan thought that it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. 

Tristan sat up and made some space for her to sit. She settled herself opposite him, offering him a small smile. As she did, Tristan wished for all his future mornings to be this way. With Alice by his side every time, but only with a brighter smile and perhaps with the same feelings he had for her.

"Did you sleep well?" Alice asked, breaking his reverie. Tristan nodded. He was not sure of what else to say. Alice was behaving so.... normally.

"Well, I can see!" She said, in a teasing manner.

Tristan suddenly got conscious about how he must be looking. His hair was tousled. His face probably looked swollen. It always did every morning he woke up. Worst, was that he was wearing an old t-shirt with shorts.

 Tristan was suddenly grateful for the invention of blankets. He knew that this was not the first time he had seen Alice first thing in the morning, but he did not know why he felt uncomfortable. Even Alice seemed to feel the same since she did not meet his eyes. Or was that because of his confession from last night? That thought scared him.

Tristan cleared his throat. "So um, you here for the stew already?" He asked, in a croaky voice. "You must be hungrier than I thought!" Alice laughed, and Tristan was glad. At least she looked a little less worried now.

Alice looked at him with serious eyes. "Tristan, I have made a decision!" She said.

The triumph Tristan had felt a few seconds ago, vanished. "About?" He asked. Though he already knew the answer.

Alice looked down at her hands. "Knave!" She replied.

"And?" He prompted, dreading the answer.

 "I have decided not to look for him or any answers!" Tristan remained looking at her, stunned. Alice continued, "Perhaps you were right, and it was for the best that he disappeared." She raised her chin. "I have decided to focus on my future!" She finished.

Tristan knew she meant him and he almost felt like exploding with happiness but, "You don't love me!" He said, almost painfully.

"I know!" Alice replied. That little tiny part in him that had hoped that her answer would be different, crushed.

 Alice quickly added, "Not yet!" 

"What do you mean?" He asked, looking at her curiously.

She turned to face him. "With time, I might start feeling the same way you do about me and..."

"Wait, wait!" Said Tristan, cutting her off. "You're letting everything go, perhaps even the guy you love, just because you do not want to hurt me?"

Alice closed her eyes. She did not reply. Instead, she pressed her lips together. Tristan shook his head. "I want you to genuinely love me, Alice! Not just for the sake of not breaking my heart." He looked at her incredulously. "Did you really consider me that selfish?" 

Alice opened her eyes. "No, Tristan!" She cried. "But how could I ever break the heart of the person I love and care about?"

"You won't!" Said Tristan. "Look Alice, whatever I feel is my problem and I cannot force you to love me." He held her hand. "I know I was being quite selfish last night! All those things I said was just because I was still trying to understand what had happened. However when I thought about it with a calm mind, I realized the right thing to do would be to find Knave."

"Find Knave?" Alice echoed in disbelief.

Tristan nodded. "It would only be fair to make a decision after you know everything about your life." Tristan offered a smile. "And when you finally have all the answers I will be right here, happy with whatever you decide." 

Alice blinked tears. With the hand not holding hers, Tristan cupped her face. "And I will always be there for you, even if you don't love me." He promised.

Alice hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Tristan!" She whispered. He closed his eyes and hugged her back, breathing in the sweet scent of her perfume. This was probably the last time Tristan was hugging his Alice, he thought woefully.

Once Alice would find her answers and know her connection with Knave, Tristan knew he would never be able to hold her like this. As if she were only his. Or perhaps she never was his. 

Whatever the case, even if she would never love him back, Tristan vowed to himself that he would always continue to love her.