𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗩𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲 (𝙵𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝙱𝚡𝙱)

Track 27 | 𝗔𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗖𝗮𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗜𝗻

➤ ➤ ➤

With a conflicted headspace and a mind in shambles, I trudged on home from the projects in the serene, empty atmosphere of my hometown.

Reclaiming my bike from the rack outside of the high school, I hopped onto the seat and pedaled down the deserted tar roads that would eventually lead me home. 

As I flew down the litter-infested streets, I couldn't help but constantly think over and over again about what Eden had said to me. She allowed me to finally open my eyes and face what I'd been avoiding for the past few months. 

For as long as I can remember, I've always seen myself as straight, but ever since Ari came into my life, that feeling has been in the back of my head. I never wanted to admit that it existed, so I constantly pretended not to notice it and act dumb.

I guess I really did convince myself. Because when Eden told me the truth—my truth—that I had been hiding from... it was like the floodgates had burst open. Everything inside of me came crashing down, everything I thought I knew and understood.

Nothing about me makes sense anymore. I thought I had myself figured out. I thought I'd be one of those people who makes it through their teenage years without suffering a huge, blistering identity crisis, but... now, I don't even know who I am anymore.

If I just found out about this, what else could be hiding below the surface?

What else do I not know... or am forcing myself not to know?

And how do I find out? Do I even want to find out?! FUCK!

"FUCK!" I yelled out into the night.

My voice echoed off the walls of surrounding brownstones and disappeared into the blackened sky, freckled and dotted with gleaming stars.

While staring up into the galaxy above as I rode my bike down the empty road, I took a moment to clear my head and channel my emotions. I closed my eyes and allowed the light breeze, flowing and interweaving throughout the strands of my bushy fur, to provide a soothing sense of calm to my anxious state. The faint sound of the bicycle wheel clicking along with the cool, whooshing wind was enough to bring me peace of mind.

Soon, I ended up back home. Turning in for the night, I chained my bike to the fence and walked up the porch steps to the front door. Unlocking it and stepping inside the house, I released a deep, relieving sigh, finally reaching the end of a long day. I aimed for the staircase, but my sister's presence in the kitchen ahead of me caught my eye. I seemed to have caught her's too, as she interrupted her process of potato chip snacking and phone scrolling to look at me. 

"Oh, hey," I muttered with a yawn, placing my keys into my back pocket.

"Hey," she said, attempting a lazy smile. "Mom told me to stay up to make sure you got home safe."

"Yeah, well, you know Mom," I chuckled, leaning my arm against the foot of the staircase banister. My smile started to fade as I stared at the polished wooden planks that made up the floor I stood upon.

"...You okay?" Rosie questioned in-between chewing.

"Hm? Yeah, yeah..." I exhaled, shaking my head and brushing it off. "I just... kinda wish she came, you know?" 

Rosie just stared at me blankly, empathizing with my troubles. She, too, had the same mom as I, so of course, she understood.

"But, it's okay, I'm here now. You can go to bed."

"I stay up 'til, like, 3 AM every night, so it doesn't really matter," Rosie shrugged, shoving her hand into the plastic bag on the kitchen counter and crunching on another chip. "Oh, and the guitar's in your room. I brought it back like you asked."