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(a/n: this chapter is a little different as it is in jj's pov during the last two chapters

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(a/n: this chapter is a little different as it is in jj's pov during the last two chapters. it was legit spontaneous and i wrote this in less than a day so enjoy <3)

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He heard her voice when she announced she was going home for the night. He chose not to look at her because her mother was whispering to his mind not to acknowledge her, no matter how hard it was. Her voice was everything to him. He could listen to her for hours and she could calm him down with the simplest of words. It took everything in him to tune her out.

A tap was what snapped him out of his concentration of blocking her out. It was hard. She was only a few feet away, after all.

Kiara narrowed her eyes down at the blonde sitting on the floor with his back pressed against the couch, eyes set on the low-volumed television. He knew the girl long enough to know what she was aiming at.

"Uh, night, Em." he finally said, although it felt like a punch to the gut to watch her facial expression change.

He watched her leave. It felt right to pull out his Zippo lighter from his shorts and fiddle with it. It gave him something to do other than thinking of her.

Kiara snatched it right out of his grip. "What the fuck are you doing, dude?" she asked him.

"Give it back, Kie." His hand reached out but she stepped back and pointed toward the door. "Go talk to her. Now."

He sighed and obliged her demands. He wanted to say, "Stay out of it, Kie," but this was Kiara Carrera. When it came to her best friend, she always wanted to do right by her. Everyone knew that.

As he followed the girl outside, he tried to remember all the things her mother told him. Do you believe you could offer everything to my daughter? Pogues like you, especially Maybanks, don't get very far. Think about her. Is this what you want for her? For her to be miserable with you? If you truly love her, you'd let her go.

Then he saw her fresh tears and how she backed away from his touch. She never backed away. He wanted to forget everything her mother said and hold his girl tight.

He couldn't. Instead, he blamed his distance on the island room. It was never about the island room. He wanted her to know how much it pained him to not touch or talk to her. He could lie all day long if he wanted to but to lie to her felt criminal.

She asked him if he was all in. Out of every lie he said in his life, he never expected one to hurt this much. It fell out of his mouth, "I'm not so sure anymore," and it was the worst thing he has ever said. To watch her face drop at the sound of it. He wished she could hear his own heart dropping when he said it.

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