Unthinkable

First semester

Waking up sucked. Going to school sucked. Going to work sucked. At this point LIFE sucked. I thought that graduating from high school and moving onto (junior) college would bring on more mature attitudes from my peers, but I was totally wrong. My name's Daniella, but most people in high school teased and called me "Heavy-D." I guess it just stuck. I was Tocarra before Fit Club. Jill Scott before she met ol' dude in Why Did I Get Married. Monique before the weight loss, okay I'm sure you get it. Nothing that diet and exercise couldn't cure right? But who was I was trying to look good for?

1st day of fall semester, in my usual jeans, hoody, and ponytail I dreaded walking into my English class. Of course the skinny girls were dressed to impressed and the guys loved it. I sat next to a thin girl I caught her out of the corner of her eye looking me up and down. And just when I was upset and was ready to tell her ALL about herself ,he walked in. I stared at him from the moment he came into the classroom until the time he sat down. I'm sure AI wasn't alone. He was sexy! His skin was flawless, caramel. He was tall and built. He had to work out. His brown eyes scoped the room and I just watched. He sat in the back, just my luck. Staring at him the whole class was now out, since it'd be completely obvious me turning all the way around. Exactly my luck, big girl loses again.

School was done and now I was making the hike to my car to go home and get ready for work. There was minimal parking so for those of us with late classes, that meant NO SPOTS or the spot in the furthest corner of the furthest lot where my 00' Dodge Durango sat. I was out of breath by the time I reached the driver side door.

"I really need to get in shape."

I said heaving my book bag into the passenger seat and starting up "Bertha." It was me and her against the world, and now we were onto the next thing in our agenda for the day.

Pulling up in the driveway I wasn't surprised to see my big brother Marcus outside tweaking his beloved Cadillac CTS. He practically BEGGED my father for it. Seeing that he kept his grades up and left for school on full athletic scholarship for basketball when he graduated he got exactly what he wanted. I was promised that when I was done with my associates degree that dad would be buying me a new car as well.
Marcus had to fulfill that promise now though.

Marcus' second semester in school mom and dad were coming home from seeing him play a game. I stayed home having to work. They got into a bad car accident and didn't make it. Drunk driver killed them 20 minutes away from home. It was hard at first. We were all so close, Marcus blamed himself at first, but we were learning to cope. He switched to on-line classes to be my guardian since I hadn't turned 18 yet his school understanding and allowing him to keep his scholarship. We took it day by day. Nothing would or could come between us.

I got out of my truck and slammed the door. Marcus stood up his tall and linky frame resting from being hunched over his car for who knew how long. He was pretty cute even if I had to say so myself. We were almost the same complexion he had moms curly dark hair and her eyes. Everyday a new girl was calling the house for him and he loved every minute of it.

"Rough day at school?"

"I do not wanna talk about it."

"D you gotta stop being so mean."

"Who said I'm mean?"

I snarled at him. He just stared at me and smiled.

"I have to get ready for work."

"Ummm hmm."

Whoever came up with the idea of putting spandex in "dress pants" for plus sized girls should be shot. I swore that you could see every dimple, which I'm sure is not attractive. I raced out of the house barely saying bye to Marcus, running late as usual. Working at a jewelry stand in the mall was not fun. Especially not for me. I swore that people walked by and laughed at the fat girl in the glass pen. To make matters worse I worked across from the sneaker store, meaning all the cute boys walked past constantly. None of them looked my way though...

It was a Monday and slow, so I decided to bring Invisible Man with me. We had to read and write a paper on it so I figured why not get started. I didn't even notice him walk in until I caught the side of his face. It was him. In a black and white striped shirt he was putting some sneakers in a display. I could see his muscular arms, now free from being hidden by a hoody earlier. He was laughing with one of his co-workers when he noticed me looking. BUSTED. We locked eyes and he smiled, and out of somewhere the corners of my mouth arched upward making me smile back. I turned away shyly and attempted to look busy. He went further into his store disappearing from my sight. I went back to my book. He knew I existed...