Eternal Spring ~Namjin

A little Braver

Namjoon's POV

"Namjoon matters are getting out of hand now, the internet is flooding with news articles about your and Jin's relationship, many antis have started hate-clubs for Jin, it's a chaos you need to do something about this".

PD-Nim's words ring in my ears as I cycle back home, lately, life has been very stressful due to the ongoing issues, and driving back home made me feel trapped thus I decided to cycle back home from the HYBE building in order to clear my mind of the raging chaos.

Jin has not been in a good state too, all this has affected him drastically and he kept himself locked in the house refusing to do even the little things that made him happy, I was losing my Jin to this mayhem and I wanted him back.

As soon as I entered the house, I was welcomed by the darkness that had befallen our lives, all was silent like every day Jin must have gone to bed on an empty stomach, his discarded cold food lying on the dining table. I decided to warm the food and take it to him like I did every day and make him eat just a little because his health had been declining too.

But as soon as I walked into the kitchen, a cold gush of wind hit me and I saw Jin sitting in the corner his head resting on his knees and silent sobs echoing in the kitchen. I rushed to him engulfing him in my arms, worry gnawing at me seeing my love in this state.

Jin, baby what's wrong why are you sitting here in the kitchen without the heater on and crying, what is wrong baby? He refused to look at me and what was strange was that he tried to pull himself away from my arms as if it irked him to be in them.

B-baby what's wrong won't you tell me, what is going on-

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!! His screams echoed in our silent house and I was appalled by his reaction.

Jin, what is wrong? What happened? I asked confused.

Leave me alone, stay away from me, h-how c-could you do this, h-how, Joonie i-I trusted y-you, h-how could you betray me l-like this, h-how could you lie to m-me, H-how could you do this!!!! He cried incessantly as he tried to drag himself away from me.

J-Jin b-baby, I never lied to you, b-baby what are you talking about? What did I do? There was something wrong with the way he was behaving, something had happened and he was not telling me, I had to get it out, Jin was sitting with his hands on his ears crying inconsolably and repeating the words H-how could you do this to me? I trusted you Joonie.

B-baby listen to me, why are you behaving this way, just tell me what happened? You are frightening me, I had tears in my eyes by now, it was clear Jin was having a panic attack, and if this continued it will get worse.

He would never do this to me, it trusted him, he said he loved me then how could he do this, I thought he loved me, was it all in my mind, he kept speaking to himself.

JIN STOP IT, I screamed at him stopping him from speaking to himself as he turned to look at me with shock evident in his eyes, more than shock it was fear, it was the look in his eyes that I had never seen, he had never looked at me that way and it frightened me.

I don't want to live with you anymore, he spoke with that look in his eyes, let me go home, I do not want to say with you.

It was as if my world had fallen apart, I had been living in fear of hearing all this from him one day and I lived with the constant worry that he would realize this someday and leave me, which is why I did everything in my power to keep him close to me, to not let anything get to him, but here we are even after all that I heard those words from him that would crush my soul to its very core, I was not ready for this.