WE WEREN'T SAYING

Kabanata 13

Para at Dahil Sa'yo

Nakangiti ko siyang sinalubong at nakita ko ang sandaling pagkakatigil niya sa harapan ko. He stood there for seconds bago matauhan.

"Wala bang tao sa bahay niyo?" Sinulyapan niya ang likuran ko bago ako muling tinignan.

I tilted my head. "If you don't consider the guards who just opened the gate... and the cutest person who just went outside as people, who do you think we are?" Tumaas ang kilay ko bago siya tinignan, nang-aasar dahil sa tanong niya.

He pouted a little bit, sulking.

Siya 'yong tipo ng tao na hindi mo aakalain na may ganitong ugali pero 'pag nakita mo na, parang bibigay ka nalang talaga sa kung anong gusto niyang mangyari.

Ilang taon ko na siyang kilala. Ilang taon ko na siyang nakikita, halos araw-araw pero may mga bagay pala talagang malalaman mo lang kapag lumapit ang distansya na matagal mo ng tinatanaw 'no?

"But on a serious note, Kate, wala ba talaga akong pwedeng makausap sa loob?" Nakakunot ang noo niya at sumulyap muli sa loob.

I crossed my arms as I watch him worriedly looking on my back as if someone will sentence him to death if we will leave now.

"Bakit ba? Umalis na nga tayo at baka maabutan pa tayo ng paglubog ng araw. Let's go, Van."

Nauna na akong maglakad palayo sa bahay nang marinig ko ang sagot niya.

"Ipagpapaalam sana kita," he whispered, tama lang para marinig ko dahil kahit nauna akong tumalikod, mabilis naman siyang sumunod saakin. "Next time, I'll do it." Dagdag pa niya na nagpatigil saakin.

Next time... so may next time pa? This feels like a fever dream, Van. A dream that I didn't know I will ever have. Isang panaginip na hindi ko aakalain na mangyari kahit kailan.

It's wonderful to have you here with me... for you to keep such a keen eye on me... to our glances and interactions... It was as if everything I had hoped for was right here in the shortest distance I could fathom.

"Nagdala ako ng pagkain," bigla niyang sabi na nakaagaw ng atensyon ko. "Hindi ko alam kung magugustuhan mo but it tastes decent." Alanganing sabi niya.

I tilted my head in curiosity. Nauna na ba siyang bumili bago pa siya makarating dito? Sayang at sabay sana kaming bumili no'n.

I wanted to have that time with him. Sa totoo lang, noon, tinatanaw ko siyang palaging bumibili ng pagkain para kay Chantria. Walang palya 'yon. From recess time to lunchtime during JHS, he'll make sure that he will be able to give the foods he picked to Chantria. The truth is, during that time that they have a good relationship with each other, I thought how would it feel if someone's going to be like that for me. It's a fact that I can do that alone but it just feels different if someone else does so. At... ang taong dapat na magpaparanas no'n saakin ay siya lamang. I don't think I can... accept it from another man.

Umiling ako sa sarili para hindi na maalala ang mga bagay na kinaiinggitan ko noon. The only important thing right now is the present.

The now that I have with him.

Nagpatuloy kami sa paglalakad. Sa una, tahimik lang pero kalaunan nag-usap kami tungkol sa mga bagay na hindi naman nalalaman sa isa't isa. Funny that it's been years since we first met and have known each other yet this is the only time we talked this freely.

"Seryoso? Akala ko ako lang ang may ayaw sakanya!" I exclaimed when we talked about our most disliked teacher back when we were in Junior High School.