on the other side • muke

e l e v e n.

warning: time skip but it's not that big tbh

i fucking hate my laptop right now too. it only turns on when i have the charger in it and it's stuck on 88% do any of you know how to fix this? 

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i took a deep breath, trying to steady my thoughts and think some things through. it's currently five in the morning, the sun was slowly coming up now and i coudln't think straight. for the past month, i've barely eaten, gone to work, and i don't remember the last time i showered. i slowly got up, clutching my chest trying to relax my self. this happened every night, the voices. they wanted to talk and i didn't want to bug ashton or calum so i might have well have.

-what's their to think through, hm?

life, i hate living like this. did you believe them? they said i was crazy, but that's true since you said i was

so you've been listening? that's good

how is that good? i'm supposed to hate you and you're just some mistake so leave!

my hands that were playing with my hair now gripped at it. what is this? why am i getting so worked up so fast? i shook my head over and over again, trying to calm myself down but nothing worked. i hated living like this, so why should i?

why should i live?

because we're here to stay

i shook my head over and over again, getting up and stumbling into my bathroom. i turned the shower on and stepped in, not caring that i was still in my boxers and plain white t-shirt. tears were staining my cheeks as everything piled up on me all at once. ever since i moved here, everything seemed to have gotten worse. the fence, the voices, the boy i met, calum and ashton, everything.

i thought this would be good for me so what am i paying for? i wanted to have a good life, to get off the streets and have a home that i could call my own. what was so hard about that? why was everything so hard on me? 

i hated this monster that was inside me, these voices. every realization started hitting me at once. why now though? what could have possibly triggered this? i didn't understand where this sudden outburst came from but now i didn't care. i shouldn't be caring about anything anyway if no one cares about me. 

we care about you, luke. unlike some people

you don't even exist! just go away!

so you're going to snap at us now huh? two can play it that game, lucas. just remember we got you away from michael and put you on the right path. we were there when no one else was. and this is how you're going to repay us? fine. have a nice day

all of a sudden my vision went blank and i collapsed in the shower.

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i woke up to white walls and a bright light being shined into my face. the sound of scribbling started but quickly stopped and a door closed. i slowly leaned up, holding my head that was in bandages and looked around. everything in the room was white, the bed was metal with a single pillow. a white desk was in the corner with a try of what seemed like a bottle of water and a sandwich. the door, caught my eye the most.

there were bars on it.

i tried to call for someone but my voice felt dry. i stood up slowly, going over to the desk and struggling to unscrew the lid on the small water bottle. when i finally got it open i chugged it down and placed it back down.

i went over to the window and leaned to my right and left trying to see where i was more. there were two hallways that looked endless, a nurse was walking by so i stuck my hand out and her eyes widened at it. 

she stopped in front of me and i pulled my hand back. i watched as she flipped through a couple of papers before resting her clipboard between her arm and her side. "luke hemmings, correct?"

i nodded slowly.

"ashton irwin is your guardian?"

i nodded again, unsure of the guardian part.

"okay, follow me."

she unlocked the door and i smiled a thank you to her as i stepped out, but that dropped when she placed handcuffs on my wrists. why did i need handcuffs? she lead me down the hallway and opened another door after entering a pin. i was then brought into what seemed like a small waiting room and my eyes beamed when i saw ashton sitting in one of the chairs. i ran over to him only to be pulled off by what seemed to be a security guard.

"w-why can't i-" i started to protest but was cut off.

"you're allowed to hug visitors when you're level three." the man said, letting go of me and giving me a stern look to make sure i wouldn't pull the act again. i nodded slowly again, still trying to figure out where i was. 

"level three?" i asked. instead of answering he just ignored me.

"are you okay?" ashton asked. i hadn't realized he had walked up to me until now. he wore a guitly expression on his face for some reason. 

"i'm fine, where am i?" 

ashton ran a hair through his messy hair, bouncing on his toes and clasping his hands together in front of him. why was he so nervous? 

"you're at the mental institution." 

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short as fuck chapter but oh well

might triple update today