on the other side • muke

t h i r t e e n.

take the camera away from him

[possible trigger]

if i have to write this single sentence one more fU.CKING TIME I WILL HURT YOU WATTPAD. there's a mini rant at the end

+

i've never heard voices before.

at least i think.

the security guard shrugged and walked off. i went back to my bed and sat down, trying to process some things. why am i forgetting things now? whatever it was, i liked it. but at the same time i hated it with a burning passion.

the nurse came in a few minutes later. i hadn't bothered with learning her name because i didn't plan on staying here long. she smiled and handed me the pills i was supposed to take. when she finished checking under me tongue to make sure i wasn't hiding them, she left.

who was she again?

my mind blanked for a second, forgetting where i was but i shrugged it off and decided to sleep. i snuggled up my pillow and let out a shaky breath before closing my eyes.

+one year since leaving

the gravel beneath my feet mocked me. my shoes that were now covered in holes mocked me. my ripped shirt mocked me. my messy hair that hasn't been in its quiff in so long mocked me.

life mocked me at this point.

i walked through a sleeping neighborhood, lights shining up from behind me and i turned around. it was a white pick up truck, the man barely visible through the darkness. the sound of the window rolling down had my attention and i walked over to it.

"need a ride kid?" the woman asked. i nodded and she unlocked the door for me. she was a woman right? they can't do any harm to me. the car started to jerk forward, taking me out of the rich neighborhood.

"where are you heading to?" she asked curiously, her eyes focused on the road.

"airport." i recited. she nodded. "me too."

"where are you planning on going?" she threw another question at me. why did she care so much? we aren't going to be friends if that's what she's thinking.

"america." i said bluntly, trying to keep my answers short. she nodded and i looked down at my lap.

it was an hour later till we reached the airport. i didn't fall asleep knowing what happened the last few times that happened. as soon as i opened the car door i felt someone tug me back.

"and what do i get for taking you here?" the lady asked. i swallowed the lump in my throat.

maybe i was wrong. everyone can hurt you.

+

"sir are you okay?" one of the security guards asked. my eyes were red from crying. i felt dirty, used, and worthless. but that doesn't matter, they're gone.

"i'm fine." i said, throwing in a smile. they nodded and i went over to the desk where a woman was talking in the phone. i waited patiently, checking my back pocket to make sure the bag of money was still there and no one took it.

once the lady was off the phone she looked up at me, eyeing me up and down suspiciously. well she had the right, i probably looked miserable and i haven't seen my reflection for who knows how long.

"can i help you?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. rude.

"i'm here to buy a plane ticket." i said confidently, like i wasn't raped fifteen minutes ago.

"okay, we'll need to know when you're leaving and when you're coming back." she said, clicking a few things on her computer before nodding for me to answer.

"america, today, and i don't plan on coming back."

"hemmings, visitor."

my eyes fluttered open, slowly adjusting to the bright light on the ceiling that never seemed to turn off. i got up, walking over to the door that was being opened by the same security guard from earlier. handcuffs were snapped on to my wrist and i was led down the hallway, taking a sharp turn that led to a white metal door.

the security guard let his grip loose on my arm and entered a quick pin, allowing the door to open. we were lead to another door that simply needed a slight knock and i was brought into the waiting room.

my eyes widened at calum, who wore a pink floral skirt and a white t-shirt that was tucked neatly into it. he smiled as he walked up to me, probably knowing he can't hug me.

"you look beautiful." i complimented with a smirk. calum looked down, his cheeks a slight pink as he looked back up.

"so do you, you should wear white more often." he chuckled. i rolled my eyes at his childish response. i look terrible in white.

calum and i talked for while, mostly about ashton because he never shuts up about him. when he had to go, he waved goodbye with a frown on his face and left.

i was brought back to my room, the handcuffs coming off and i rubbed my wrists on how tightly they put them on. the nurse came in a couple hours later with my medication that i had hesitated on taking but swallowed the pills anyways.

but then i couldn't remember what i had for breakfast this morning.

everyone forgets things like that right? wait forgets things like what? i shook my head, yawning and blinking away tears as i paced around my room. the security guard yelled at me, and i complained about not knowing what i ate this morning but he rolled his eyes.

i now sat at the empty desk, the bright light above me keeping me awake as well as some girl screaming down the hall and being told to "shut the fuck up"

who could live in such a place like this? i shook my head for the hundredth time in my hands again and ruffled my flat hair. i rubbed at my jaw next, feeling the slight stubble that was growing. i knew i was old but i didn't think i was this old.

i frowned.

+

the next morning i took my pills, having my mouth checked and left alone afterwards. the clocks were ticking, and i was waiting to leave this place. something was off though, why did i want to get out of here again?

the name michael popped into my head and i blinked away tears that weren't from me yawning this time. michael.

the name felt weird as i rolled it off my tongue, like i haven't said it in years. it felt like something was keeping me from ever going near the name but i couldn't figure out what it was.

i shrugged the thought off and waited. not exactly knowing what for but when at least four hours went by the nurse came in with the pills. and maybe i was going crazy, but before i popped the pills in my mouth a small voice, barely above audible went:

help us

+

warning: cashton next chapter cause you guys don't know what's going on with calum or ashton and iTS GOING TO BE SO CUTE I CAN FEEL IT

I CAN TASTE IT

-rant thing-

so i want to put my lights back up in my room cause i painted it this real nice grey color and my dad went out of his way at like 11pm to buy me the sticky things so i can hang them and my mom fuck.ing hid them from me and whenever i asked where she put them she goes "up your ass" and it really fuc.king hurts. i yelled at her for being childish and she goes "don't talk to me like that i'll knock your fuck.ing teeth out"

and you know, i wouldn't have yelled at her if she just fuckin.g told me where they were

just get me out of this house already

update: they were behind her door and she's making fun of me now