on the other side • muke

t w e l v e.

my heart shattered. 

"i-why?" i asked, trying to keep back the tears that were threatening to spill. ashton looked over at the nurse for approval and she nodded before leaving us alone. 

"i-i found you barely breathing in the shower. calum said to go check on you because he went over a few days ago saying you lied about being sick and wanted me to make sure nothing funny was being pulled. the door was locked, so i went around and saw you had one of your windows opened so i went through that and called your name out but you didn't reply.

"i checked the bathroom first, and i was glad i did because y-you, you were just laying there. i didn't know if you were alive but you just seemed so dead. i noticed your head was bleeding and calum drove you to the hospital, and when you woke up, you weren't you." 

"what do you mean i wasn't me?" i pushed, trying to concentrate on what he was saying.

"well the hospital put you on these drugs that were going to make you drousy but you i guess it didn't wear off fully. you woke up thrashing around and they had to get three nurses to hold you down. you kept saying the voices and talking about some guy named michael."

i looked down at the ground at the mention of michael, suddenling not being able to look ashton in the eyes anymore.

"i told them to admit you to this place, because i couldn't bare watching you do that to yourself. you seemed so upset, whispering michael over and over again and i got scared. please don't hate me." ashton finished off, looking at me with hopeful eyes.

"i dont hate you." i reassured him. "you were just taking care of me."

"so you'll stay here?"

i closed my eyes and took a deep breath. the voices said i should stay here so why not? i'm crazy as it is and my therapist obviously didn't work.

"yeah, okay. i'll stay."

ashton smiled widely, frowning when the security guard snapped at him when he tried to hug me. "i need to go, me and calum will visit you whenever we can okay?"

i nodded and watched my friend smile sympathetically one last time before walking towards a hallway. i felt someone grip my arm and i was turned around to be met with the security guard.

"this way."

he lead me down back to my room. opening the door, he took off the handcuffs and shoved me inside. i stumbled a little but quickly found my balance and sat on the bed, feeling dizzy.

"get some sleep, the nurse will be by tomorrow with your medication."

i nodded, wondering why i wasn't putting up a fight. this wasn't like me, i argued over everything. i laid down on my side, fingers tracing small patterns into the uncomfortable pillow. 

maybe this is for the best.

+

"luke, you need to take your medication." the nurse said, handing me a cup with two bright blue pills inside. i nodded and hesitated before popping them into my mouth and taking the cup of water she handed to me.

"open." she said. i did as told, lifting my tongue up when she asked me to. "i'll be back later today."

after she left, i ran my hand through my tangled hair. is this my life now? what about my job? what about abbie? does she know i'm in here?

my house.

i wanted to be back in my house again.

my breathing started to get heavy at the thoughts. right when i thought i could be able to have a home to call my own it was taken away from me. what about the fence? will i ever see it again? 

what was on the other side of those wall? they seemed so full of secrets and now i'm probably never going to know ever again.

that boy.

what about him?

will he miss me?

i started to tug at the ends of my hair now. but that was it, that's all there was. i was myself, in a boring room with my own thoughts. something kept me from two words and it started to make me angry. 

i stood up, pacing around my room as i tugged at my hair so hard i could have ripped it off if i wanted to. what am i missing? something inside of me felt empty, and i didn't like it. however, i felt like i should be happy, that this thing that was once in me has stopped completely. 

what was it though?

"knock it off, hemmings." a voice by the door said. i recongnized it as the security guard and i rushed over to the door.

"why am i in here again?" i asked, gripping the handle bars. great, now i couldn't remember what ashton said to me. the security guard seemed hesitant, raising an eyebrow before nodding.

"you went crazy at the hospital, something about voices and michael?"

i blinked at him.

"what voices?"

+

i love all these cliff hangers 

short chapters not so much

also i realized how bad an idea this was cause no i got to make chapter twenty chapter thirty since this will take a while and even then i probably won't end it 

go me