The Other Side Of Paradise

VII

Onika Tanya Maraj

7 Year old Onika stared at the butterfly resting on the flower.

She blinked a few times staring at it, it was right outside her window. She smiled when it flew away—she thought the colors on its wings were so pretty.

Onika started to hear yelling and she immediately put her hands over her ears—Onika was sensitive in multiple ways like a kid should be. No child enjoys hearing their parents argue.

Onika didn't understand the concept of arguing at this age, she thought her parents jsut liked being loud. Either way it was sensitive to her ears.

Onika looked up at her door and saw Ming come in before closing the door right behind her. She sighed looking at Onika who honestly looked like she was about to cry.

"Hey—hey. Don't cry—look." Ming said sitting infront of Onika, showing her, her own stuffed animal.

"I washed Mr Bear for you—and I got you these." She said handing Onika the bear and then showing her a pair of headphones.

She placed the noise canceling headphones over her little sisters head, making sure her hair didn't get in the way by tying it in a low pony tail.

Onika couldn't hear much of anything now and she smiled looking down at her clean teddy bear.

Ming smiled looking down at her younger sister—

before the noise canceling headphones didn't work.

Onika suddenly heard stomping, loud stomping, yelling—screaming—

Suddenly Onika looked around confused, she was older now.

She looked down at herself—it was her same colored shirt—the same one she wore that early morning—she looked around at the messy room and immediately starting shaking her head .

"Not again—not again. Please." She whispered.

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—-
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"Fuck!" Onika said as she quickly rose up from her bed. Sweat covering her body, and a queasy feeling in her stomach. She ran to her bathroom throwing up immediately.

It was the same damn dream every-time.

Maybe not the same exact but it always started with a memory from her childhood, sometimes skipping to her highschool years—and then her adult ones.

She slowly hugged her knees to her chest and felt a burning sensation in the back of her eyes. She shook her head—she hated crying.

She got up and brushed her teeth aggressively trying to get the icky taste out of her mouth. She breathed heavily looking at herself in the mirror.

"You're disgusting."

"No I'm not." Onika said biting her lip looking down.

"Whore."

"It wasn't even my fault!" Onika stuttered looking down at her hands as she gripped the sink. She looked up at herself—and immediately looked away.

She rushed back to her room sniffling, her hand shook as she grabbed her phone—she immediately wanted to call Lauren.

She immediately started looking for her contact, pressing the call symbol when she finally found it.

Lauren answered after 3 rings, "Onika? You good?" She asked and Onika gulped; she trailed opening her mouth to speak—give an answer but—she couldn't as she felt more tears wet her cheeks.