The Other Side Of Paradise

XIV

Onika Tanya Maraj

Onika stared up at her ceiling—she wished she could feel numb—and not care.

But she was filled of sorrow—sadness—grief—the worst feeling in the world? You name it.

She hadn't done much of anything these past 3 days. She slept for most of the time—staying in bed—her curtains closed—she hasn't checked her phone or talked to anyone.

She hated each time she woke up—because when she gain consciousness—the memory of 4th of july played over and over in her head.

She heard a faint knock on her door.

"Onika? Can I come in?" Ming asked and Onika didn't even answer as she buried herself deeper into her cacoon of blankets.

"I'm coming in Onika." She warned and Onika didn't protest, she didn't have the will to. She didn't have the will to do much of anything.

Ming walked in and she sighed as she looked at Onika.

Her room was messy—incredibly so. The dinner Ming had left at the door for Onika—wrapped in foil was still there. the girl hadn't left her bed in 3 days. Or ate anything in 3 days. Onika turned over in her bed—her eyes were slightly red—and she still had snifiles from the previous nights she's been crying.

"Oh Oni.." Ming sighed.

"Do you need my help?" Ming asked and Onika nodded very faintly. Her sister came over and helped her out of bed. "Get undressed for me." Ming said quietly and Onika began to do so.

Onikas been in depressive episodes before but there's only been 2 times where it's gotten so bad—she didn't have the will to take care of herself anymore.

The first time was after her abortion and dropping out, the girl didn't eat, she didn't talk, she was irritable and lost—not to mention that's when her drug use started.

The 2nd time—being now.

Ming ran her a bath, and Onika stepped in, hugging her knees to her chest as she stared at the bubbles Ming put in for her. She was still quiet—with a permanent pout on her face.

She had bags under her eyes, her lips were cracked, Onika reminded Ming of a zombie in this state and she hated seeing her sister like this.

As Onika bathed—well—sat in the tub as she stared at her bath bubbles slowly dissolving—Ming cleaned Onikas room for her. She knew the girl couldn't even have a step in the right direction if she felt disgusted in her own space.

She picked up the clothes off her floor, shaking them out before putting them in the laundry basket. As well as changing the girls sheets for her.

When Ming came back—Onika was still there. Hadn't moved much. She was quiet—still.

"Come on Oni..I promise you—bathing yourself—and taking care of yourself will make you feel just a little bit better alright?" Ming said and Onika shook her head.

Ming sighed again, "Lean your head back for me." She said and Onika did just that—allowing Ming to wash her hair. When Onika got out of the tub, Ming smiled a bit when she willingly put on her own clothes.

"Let me detangle your hair for you alright?" Ming asked and Onika just nodded. Ming still wasn't aware of what happened—but whatever it is—it took a tole on Onika.

"Whatever happened—and you don't have to tell me—It wasn't your fault." Ming said and Onikas lip quivered—she bit her lip as she silently sobbed.

Ming could tell she was crying—but she knew her sisters pride would get in the way of her telling her what's wrong.

So she let her cry.