The Other Side Of Paradise

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Onika Tanya Maraj

Onika opened her eyes slowly, she didn't move, she just breathed in deeply.

She stayed in bed for atleast an hour after actually waking up, before finally reaching for her phone—she knew she was off today so she wasn't that worried when she noticed it was around 2pm.

Onika felt the wave of embarrassment remembering she cried yesterday infront of Beyoncé. While sober.

"Fucking God." She groaned into her pillow. She turned her head and eyed the xanax bottle. There was only about 1 in there and she groaned more.

She slowly got up, looking down at herself. She felt gross—sluggish—and had a headache. She headed toward her shower and immediately hopped in.

She took a cold one to wake her up, and when she stepped out she didn't want to look at herself.

She went back to her room and put on another set of pajamas just to go to sleep again. Onika slept for practically the whole day—not even eating—or talking to anyone.

When she woke up again around 6 she heard a knock on her door. She turned her head to the door and sighed. "Open." She said laying her head back on her pillow and Ming opened the door.

"You've been in bed all day." Ming said and Onika groaned. "Damn for real? I didn't know." Onika mumbled turning her head away from her.

Ming rolled her eyes. "I just wanted to check on you. You—you haven't slept this late in awhile." Ming said softly and Onika knew what she meant—and she honestly didn't feel like talking about it.

"I'm fine." Onika said waving her sister off and Ming sighed. "Onika if you're ever feeling depressed again—-"

"I said I'm fine." Onika said immediately and Ming gulped slightly. Onika didn't like revisiting that time in her life. Onika didn't even like admitting she was indeed mentally ill.

Ming was the one who had to see it first hand.

"I still brought you dinner, because I know you probably haven't ate all day. " Ming said setting the plate of food down and her eyes were directed to the pill bottle in her room.

"Onika—what the fuck is this?" Ming asked and Onika was now immediately awake as she turned around to see Ming looking at the uncapped pill bottle.

"Shit.." Onika mumbled and Ming felt a bubbling of anger build inside of her.

"Are you fucking kidding me Onika? Again? I thought you were fucking sober!" Ming yelled and Onika groaned.

"It isn't a big deal.." Onika mumbled and Ming scoffed. "It isn't a big deal? You know better than anyone how big of a deal this is!" Ming yelled and Onika felt her frustration build up.

"Can you just leave me the fuck alone? I'm fine." Onika insisted and Ming started to pace around her room. "I thought you were fucking sober." She mumbled and Onika sat watching her stress herself out.

"I'm not abusing them—it's just for sleep—I swear." Onika said and Ming eyed her. "Onika I swear to god if you're lying to me—" Onika shook her head.

"I'm not lying just—trust me—okay? I'm fine—I just have trouble sleeping sometimes you know this. I've been using them to help me sleep—that's all." Onika said and she was convincing herself it wasn't an issue as she convinced Ming.

Ming and Onika shared an intense look.

"You know more than anyone how drugs can fuck up everything Onika. Don't fuck up your life." Ming said leaving and shutting Onikas door. The girl sighed and sat down.