Love Me, Hate Me, Either Way, You're Thinking Of Me... {Completed}

Like The Puppy, It's Over

Sapphire's P.O.V

I walked into History class after lunch with my head hanging low. I was prepared for another class of sitting far away from Blake. Luckily, Aerie didn’t take this class so there wasn’t going to be the sight of them two all over each other.

As my feet carried me farther into the room, I noticed that everyone was already in seats and the only available desk was right smack in between Skyler and Blake.

Grunting slightly, I went to the empty desk and sat down. My eyes stayed glued ahead as we all waited for our teacher. I wanted to chuckle at the fact that our history teacher never seems to be on time. As a matter of fact, the more I plundered on it, the more I realized a lot of my teacher’s didn’t fully care about their job. They always arrive late and when most of them are here, they are either playing on their computers or phone. But, that doesn’t mean there aren't a few here that don’t work hard and actually teach. For example, my first class with Mr. Lockhart, I never go a day without him waking everyone up and trying to get us to understand Spanish, which is a lost cause for me.

“What are your plans for Halloween?” Skyler asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I looked next to me at him, and noticed Blake in the corner of my eye. He was turning his head a tad and looking in our direction, which only meant one thing: he was eavesdropping.

“Ummm, I am going out to dinner with a group of friends.” I half-lied seeing as I didn’t want Blake to know it was a group date.

“Oh, that sounds like fun,” Skyler said as he leaned back in his blue plastic chair.

“I hope,” I muttered to myself.

“Huh?” Asked Skyler.

“Oh, nothing just mumbling to myself. So, what are you going to do this Friday for Halloween?” I questioned hoping to change the subject.

“I was thinking about attending Ashton’s party,” Skyler replied.

I nodded thinking about how I have missed going to Ashton’s parties. They were always a lot of fun.... of course that was back when I would go with Blake, as a friend of course. The memory of us sitting aside for the dance floors and making fun of everyone still stained my mind. It was always a hoot to go there and laugh the night away.

Smiling, I suddenly blurted out something I was not really planning on doing, “I might have to make an appearance.”

Skyler chuckled, “if you do show up, please come find me. I will be the one drunk as hell and singing karaoke.”

I snickered and smirked, “isn’t that what you always do? You know you should mix it up, maybe get on top of a table and dance to some Britney Spears’ song." I joked with Skyler as I remember one time he got so shit faced that stumbled up onto a table and sang off key to a Britney Spears song.

Glaring at me playfully a smile erupted on his lips, Skyler chuckled dryly. "Ha-ha, already made that mistake once dear, won't do it again."

I gave a sigh in sadness, "oh darn it! I was really hoping to see you do that again!" I faked pouted.

"I'm like one hundred percent sure if you type my name on YouTube that you’ll find the video of me doing that. I think Alicia filmed it and posted it up," Skyler admitted.

Giving a small gasp, I spoke, "oh, yeah I forgot she filmed it! I will most definitely have to check it out again ... Just for a good laugh."

Rolling his eyes, Skyler looked away from me as silence consumed the air around us. His olive tone face seemed to fall emotionless, which pointed at the fact that he was thinking hard about something. Knowing it was no use talking to Skyler anymore, since he just seeped into a deep train of thought, I glanced around the classroom.

Everyone was either chatting it up with some buddies of theirs or on their phones. I started to wonder who I could talk too in hopes of passing time till either the teacher showed up or class got out. My opinions were clearly limited. I could talk to some random peer of mine, try and talk to Skyler, or suck up my pride and chat it up with Blake.

Just thinking of his name made me want to snap my head in his direction. Yet, I pleaded with myself not to look at Blake but the urge to get one freaking glimpse of him was slowly becoming overpowering. All I wanted to do was look at his face for just one millisecond ... But my troubling thoughts keep reminding me about how much he has hurt me and that looking at him would only lead me to missing him. Missing him was not on my agenda because if I missed the damn boy, then that would mean he won...

Yet, on the other hand, I figured what is going on with Blake and I was sorta my fault.

None of this tension and fighting would have not happened if I didn't lie and say I slept with Joshua...

Oh hot damn ... Joshua ... Something was brewing inside of me ... Something that would make my stomach feel as if someone was tickling it at the mere second I thought if Joshua. Slowly, I have begun to realize it is because I am quite possibly forming a crush on Joshua. No scratch that, I already have a crush on him, that much was known (to myself of course) ... But, something was stopping me from my daydreaming thoughts of Joshua ... And that of course was Blake, and this whole damn situation we have thrown ourselves in.

I love Blake, I thought, and I always have ... But, he just needs to admit he likes me...

What if he does though? I suddenly thought.

What then?

Would I have the guts to drop contact with Joshua?

Would I be able to forget I ever met him and Noah?

I knew the answer and it was no...

It was then that it became evident that nothing would change if Blake said he liked me.

It was right there as I sat in my desk, in history class, that I realized no matter if Blake said he liked me or not ... I was too caught up in Joshua ... And I wanted to test the waters with him; to see where our relationship could go.

Slightly turning my head, I looked at Blake. Only to find he was staring right back at me. His forest green eyes bore into me with a blank expression.

"Blake," I said just above a whisper. It was as if I was trying to keep what I was saying a secret as I leaned in a little too.

He blinked a few times and parted his lips, "yes, Sapphire." Blake spoke in a tone of voice that wasn’t like his normal husky tone. In fact, his voice actually took me by surprise, it sounded dry and dead almost like he had not talked in weeks.

Recovering I spoke, "Meet me at the bleachers after class we need to talk, for real," I informed him.

"...Okay."

***

Blake's lean figure gradually made its way towards the bleachers. I sat on the metal bench, watching him as he got closer and closer. I tried to suppress the thoughts of how we use to come here all the time and skip class. It was a silly memory, for we would always lie back on the benches and look up at the sky. Blake and I would talk about the clouds and their shapes. Of course, he would make everything perverted...

Before long, Blake reached me and stopped walking. His lips moved slightly and he released a sigh.

My eyes looked up to find him staring down at me with emptiness.

Taking a large breath I made myself speak. "I never slept with Joshua," I found myself admitting. "I lied because I was hurt, sad and downright confused that you wouldn't admit your feelings towards me. It was wrong of me ... I know that now ... but you need to also know that it doesn't matter to me how you feel about me anymore, because I am moving on."

Looking at me as if he was trying to see my soul, Blake replied. "You can't move on Sapphire ... Give us one last shot," he pleaded.

Shaking my head, I knew there was no sense in another chance. "Blake, I know we can't be together ... Because you and I know that you don't actually like me. If you did, things would be different; you’d have said it weeks ago. I think, Blake, you just like the idea of not being alone ... always having someone there for you. I think deep down, this whole time you’ve been afraid of losing me." Standing up I stood directly in front of Blake. I resisted touching him, for I knew my words that were forming in my head would melt like choclate if I laid one finger on him.

"Sapphire ... I like..." Blake started to say but closed his lips quickly. His mouth sagged into a frown. "Why can't I say it?! I wanna say it because I don't want you to go!! Sapphire I want to be with you! I really do!" He stated with a persistent tone, that almost had me fooled, but then again, I heard his word choice. I knew it was all falsehood behind his words.

I shook my head, "that is just it. You want to be with me but you wanted to be with me as, friends..."

"I want to kiss you every second of the day! That is not how friends feel about one another... I thought we talked about that!" He exclaimed.

"No, you’re right, that is not how friends feel about one another. But ... Remember when you were seven and you begged your parents to get you a puppy for Christmas? You pleaded with them every single second and when it came time for Christmas they gave you a puppy. You hated damn dog, because you found yourself sneezing around him. Your eyes would water when you started to pet him. Even though you didn't like the dog, it was there for you. It would sleep right next to your bed every night, walk side by side with you. It was your shadow...

“So,” I continued. “When your dad found out you were allergic to dog he said they had to return it. You didn’t like the idea of losing it, so for weeks you acted like the dog didn’t bother you. You forced yourself not to sneeze and you would wipe your eyes before your parents saw they were getting watery. The point is Blake ... When you think you are losing something ... You change yourself, you try and adapt to it. Making yourself think and feel ... differently."

His eyes bore into me with much intensity. Abruptly, a fog of confusion fell over Blake’s eyes. He began to pace in front of me. His long legs took up feet of grassy ground with just two steps. I watched as he repeatedly turned on his heels, moving west to east and east to west. His eyes lingered on the ground, as it was talking to him and giving him all the answers in the world.

My bottom lip quivered ... this was the end; I knew it deep in my gut. Even if Blake was thinking, undoubtedly, about this hopeless relationship and how to salvage it ... I was coming to complete realization.  

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Blake stopped. His face held sadness as he spoke in a weak tone. "Will I lose you Sapphire?"

I gave him a faint smile, "not in a million years buddy."

Blake gave me a grin, much like mine, that didn't really reach his eyes. "I’m not going to give up on you, Sapphire." His tone and eyes told me that his words were truthful, but he and I knew it was a lost cause.

As the school bells rang through the air, I think I knew that us being in a relationship ruined our friendship ... we were never going to be the same.

***
Blake's P.O.V

Walking away from the football field and Sapphire, I decided that I wasn't going to go back to class. Instead, I figured I would head home and chill in my room and figure out what I was going to do next ... fight or accept that we were over.

Suddenly my phone vibrated in my pocket. Pulling it out I was it was a text from Miyla.

Call me when you get out of school!

Furrowing my brows I wondered what she wanted. Deciding to call her as I entered my car, I dialed her number.

Sitting in the stuffy car the phone rang a few times before a voice spoke from the other line. "Blake?!"

"Hey, long time no talk," I said.

"Uhhh, yeah ... Listen ... I’m only saying this because ... Well I'd feel guilty if you didn't know..." Miyla started to mumble in a low tone.

"What? I can't hear you."

"Sorry, I tend to rant in a mutter tone when I am nervous," Miyla admitted.

"What are you nervous about?"

"I’m just nervous about telling you ... You see, I work at Little Rome. That Italian restaurant in Collierville ... Anyways, I’m the delivery girl and I was doing a delivery..." Miyla stopped talking as she started to mumble again in a voice that was once again to low for me to hear.

"Huh?"

"Damn it, I am doing it again ... Well you see ... I saw Sapphire at this guy's house. He was shirtless and all wet ... Very cute guy but that is beside the point ... Sapphire is cheating on you! There I said it! Damn that feels good to get off my chest!"

"Miyla ... I am not ... -- ... where is this house you delivered too?” I asked her.

“You want the address?”

“Yes.”