Love Me, Hate Me, Either Way, You're Thinking Of Me... {Completed}

Epilogue

 Semi-Unedited!

Sapphire’s P.O.V

I’d always considered school breaks to be fun and a time to relax before having to deal with the hardships of school. Yet, my fall break was anything but fun and relaxing. I slept most of it locked up in my room, not bothering to eat very much or talk to anyone. The deep rooted feeling that I’d made the wrong decision by cutting off ties with both Blake and Joshua made me stay in my room. It pained me every second of everyday to not be able to pick up the phone and call one of them.

Lying in my bed, I stared at the alarm clock. It was six twenty-nine in the morning. One more minutes and my alarm clock would go off. I gave small sigh, I had school today. I would see Blake ... but before I could overcome that hurdling thought, I had to get out of bed.

A loud obnoxious beeping noise sounded from my clock. Reaching over I clicked the snooze button. I was unwilling to get out of this bed -- to face the world ... to face Blake. My ear picked up on the sound of footsteps making their way down the hall in the direction of my room. Once the sound was right in front of my bedroom door, it stopped.

It was Linx and I knew he was contemplating on what to say to me. “Sapphire, you have to go to school,” he stated.

Staring at the clock, I didn’t even say a word to him. I didn’t want to speak. I was afraid if I opened my mouth, my voice with break and show all the raw emotions I was feeling.

“Sapphire,” Linx said before trying to open my bedroom door. “Open the door,” he demanded as he jiggled the door knob.

Burying my face in my pillow, I continued to ignore him. I wasn’t going to get up today. I wasn’t going to do anything but lay here and pray that I would stop feeling -- stop crying.

Linx had given up around seven to try and get me up. I was sorta happy to know he was going to school and not stay here worrying about me. He needed a break from this house -- a break from me. All during our fall break he would try and get me to eat and come out of my room. Yet, I wouldn’t budge.

I wasn’t being locked up in my room to just draw attention to myself. I was actually trying to do the exact opposite. I didn’t want to be around my friends and family and have them see my bloodshot eyes and wet cheeks. It would only make them feel obligated to make me feel better.

I shouldn’t be given the chance to feel better. I had shattered two lives and all because I couldn’t pick. I deserved this in some sick twisted way.

By the time three o’clock in the afternoon rolled around, I heard the sound of the front door opening. With the opening of the front door came many voices breaking the silence the house gave off all day.

“How is she?” I could her Alicia ask from the living room.

I sighed wishing my room wasn’t a wall away from the den. With these thin walls I knew I would be able to hear them talk about me.

“Same,” Linx replied. A clanking noise sound, indicating that Linx had tossed my keys on the wooden table in the living room.

“What do we do?” Alicia questioned.

“We can get her some food! Food makes anyone better!” Carmen stated in a chipper voice.

I could hear both Linx and Alicia give off annoyed low sighs.

Flipping over in the bed, I laid on my back. Looking up at the white ceiling I wondered how long it would be before I would stop feeling guilty and get out of this funk.

My stomach gave a loud growl and I held myself before curling into a tight ball. My eyes felt heavy and I was glad sleep was finally taking over ... it had been a good thirty hours since I’ve slept. Closing my eyes, I prayed that this day would end.

***

I covered my ears as a drilling sound permeated the air. With sleepy eyes I wondered where the drilling noise was coming from because it sounded from right outside my bedroom door. Rubbing my eyes, I looked at my egg shelled colored door. Suddenly the door flew open and Linx, Carmen and Alicia walked in. 

“See told you it would work!” Linx said as he held up my door knob.

I wanted to yell and scream at him for taking out my door knob but instead I rolled over allowing my back to face them.

“Sapphire, you need to get out of bed! Get moving.” Alicia stated as she walked over to my bed. I felt the mattress dip as she took a seat next to me. Her hand press on the cover as she attempted to touch my shoulder and comfort me.

Shrugging it off, I said nothing. They needed to leave, so I could be in peace. Giving them the cold shoulder was needed, in my opinion.

“We made you some ramen noodles. I wanted to make you some pasta or fried chicken. But, Linx said you hadn’t eaten in awhile. So, that might be bad for your stomach.” Carmen stated as she walked over to the other side of my bed. Taking a seat in front of me, she placed a tray of ramen noodles and some apple juice right in front of my face.

The spice smell of the noodles made my stomach turn in hunger. I knew my eyes were mirroring the need and want to eat. Sitting up, I moved the tray to my lap. I grabbed the fork and found that I was shaking like a leaf. I was weak and even though I wasn’t looking at anyone in the room, I knew they were looking at me with pity.

Dipping the fork in the bowl, I twirled the noodles around the metal utensil. Lifting it up to my mouth I prepared to eat the steaming goodness, but my hand abruptly felt weaker than it already was. The fork slipped from my finger and landed on the tray with a thump.

“Gosh damn it Sapphire! Look at what you’ve done to yourself! Do you find it worth it?! You are hurting -- no killing yourself! For what?! A heart break! Everyone goes through one! Yet-”

“Enough!" Carmen yelled. “You are being beyond insensitive!”

My vision blurred with tears as I pushed away the tray with all my strength. Laying back down I knew I wasn’t hungry anymore.

“Sapphire, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to snap," Linx said as he came over and stood at the foot of my bed.

Everyone was watching me, waiting for my next move. Parting my lips, I spoke for the first time in a week. “Go away,” my voice was hoarse and dry. I knew by everyone’s loud exhale that they were worried for me.

“Eat, please,” Linx begged.

I said no more as I closed my eyes.

“Fine! Act childish, but just know I can act the same!” Linx snapped.

A second later Carmen got up from the bed. "Linx! What are you doing?!”

“I’m taking her door down!”

“Why? You have already destroyed her door knob, she can’t lock it,” Carmen replied.

“She can still close the door. Mom will think Sapphire is doing homework or asleep if  the door is closed. With the door gone mom will walk by and see Sapphire and the condition she is in. Mother will make this better,” Linx said. I could tell by his voice that he was trying to convince himself more than anyone.

Once Linx removed my door he stalked off to his room. “He will calm down soon,” Alicia told me as she patted my shoulder once more.

It took Carmen and Alicia a good ten minutes before they noticed I wasn’t going to talk or eat. They both went to leave, but Alicia told me that they would leave the tray at the foot of my bed.

A few minutes after that they left the house ... going to their homes.

I laid there for what seemed hours before I heard the sound of my mother getting home. I knew that Linx’s theory of my mom seeing me in this state wouldn’t work. For I knew she didn’t really pay attention while walking to her room and even if she did look in my room, I would be pretending to sleep.

Closing my eyes, I listened to her footsteps. They got closer and closer to my room. Then I heard them pass my door and I gave off a low sigh in relief. Yet, I had relaxed too soon. The footsteps stopped and I heard them coming back towards my door.

Keeping my eyes closed, I knew my mother was looking in my room. “Sapphire, honey? What happened to your door?” My mother asked.

I gave off a soft snoring, hoping I snored when I sleep.

“You never have been a good fake sleepier,” mother voice stated as she walked over and sat on my bed.

I opened my eyes and gave off a fake smile, “a girl can try. Right?” I looked at her, hoping she wouldn’t notice the raspiness of my voice.

Chuckling, mom nodded. “So,” she started to say. “How was your day at school?”

Shrugging my shoulder I thought about lying but knew she would catch me.

Her brown eyes drifted over to the tray of food at the foot of my bed. “What is going on?” Mother asked me as she looked at me with caring eyes.

An overflowing sadness flooded my emotions. Without warning I sat up and hugged my mom. I started to cry as she wrapped her arms around me. For once in this whole week, I felt like my heartbreaking emotions were dwindling.

“Shhh, Shhh, Shhh,” my mom chanted as she rubbed my back. “It is going to be okay,” her calming voice sounded.