broken doll [teen wolf]

[chapter eleven] right where you left me

A/N: The song of this chapter is Yellow by Coldplay! I recommend listening to it whilst reading the first bit of this chapter <3

'✧∘* ೃ ⋆｡˚.

Aires pov...

After revealing to Deaton everything I knew, I needed air. The mistletoe was coming up more frequently, not just once a week. Since I had told him the truth over the phone, Stiles had been stuck to my side, walking with me in silence through the woods.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He whispered, breaking her from her thoughts.

"What?" 

"Why didn't you tell me about the mistletoe, that you were dying?"

With a heavy sigh I stopped walked and plopped down onto the forest floor. The sky was full of stars and no cloud in sight, so I pushed onto my back and rested my hands by my sides, gazing up at the stars above me.

"I didn't tell anyone because it's my problem." I muttered with a shrug. "And besides, it's the least worrying thing happening right now." 

Stiles quickly jumped down next to me, mirroring my position and glancing up to the sky. "Ree, you're dying, someone is trying to kill you. That's the only thing I care about. Screw whatever else is happening in this town, none of it matters to me. You, you matter to me."

His words were like a knife to my soul.

An uneasy feeling settled in my stomach at his last words. You matter to me. The words hit me straight in the heart, bringing back the heavy ache that I had felt since the morning in his jeep.

"If you could take all the pain and suffering away to live a normal life, even if it meant getting rid of all your memories, your past, would you do it?" He suddenly asked in a hushed whisper.

"Honestly, I don't know anymore. My answer always used to be a no, but now it seems like everything just keeps getting worse. Ask me again in a year, I'll probably have a proper answer then."

"A lot can happen in a year. What do you hope will change?"

I involuntarily bit the inside of my cheek, a nervous habit I had picked up over the summer. There was a lot that I hoped would change, but most of all, I wanted to be myself again- though the possibility of it happening further away with every day that passed.

I would never be myself again. I was spiralling, becoming a version of myself I loathed. I was dabbling in drugs, alcohol and partying, distracting myself with sex. There was never a hope for me to be my old self again, not with the way I was going. I wasn't planning on stopping.

"Well I hope they bring out a new Avenger movie." I whispered, earning a playful laugh from the boy beside me.

"Give me a serious answer Ree." He choked out with a grin on his face.

"I am serious." I shot back defensively. "I need more Natasha Romanoff scenes, like literally anything. I'll settle for breadcrumbs at this point."

A comfortable silence settled between us, my eyes got lost in the stars whilst Stiles gazed at me from the side- I could feel him watching me, and I loved and hated it at the same time. 

"I love the stars." I blurted out.

"Really?" Stiles hummed.

"Yeah, they are the only thing in life that's permanent. No matter what happens in life, no matter how bad it gets, I know that all I need to do is look up at the sky and find the stars. The stars will always stay."

A smile made its way onto the boy's lips as his eyes met mine. I could see the hundreds of questions that hid behind his eyes, questions he was desperate to ask me.