Until You

Chapter 19 - Part 2

"Tae? Are you okay?" Jennie's sleepy voice asked from next to him.

Trying to control his heaving breaths, he turned to her. She looked worried.

"I'm fine. Sorry to disturb you." 

"Tell me about your dream," she said gently. "I know I don't have the right to demand, but I want you to tell me."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I just dreamed of my accident. The accident in which Eunwoo died."

"A fire accident?"

"No," he said. "A car accident during which the car caught fire."

She was silent. "Were you driving the car?"

He shook his head. "Eunwoo was driving."

She pulled away from him and sat next to him until she could see his face. "If you weren't driving, why do you feel responsible for the accident?"

He took a shuddering breath. "Because the accident was premeditated. It was caused by a woman who wanted to hurt me."

"Your cousin loved you. I'm sure he wouldn't have blamed you for what had happened. You need to forgive yourself."

"I don't know if I ever can," he confessed.

"You should," she said. "My father blames himself for my mother's death. She died of cancer. He thinks if he could have noticed the symptoms early on, he could have saved her somehow. I kept telling him it wasn't his fault, but he still blames himself."

She pulled away from him to look at him. "My father destroyed himself. And in the process, without wanting to, he drags me into his destruction. When you suffer and shun away life or happiness, whether you want it or not, you also pull your loved ones into it. Your sister loves you, and it's obvious they are worried about you. There are other people who need you as well. You need to forgive yourself, Tae."

He didn't say anything, and neither did she expect him to. They lay next to each other, and he held her before they fell asleep.