Crossing the gangster

chapter 26

It had taken me twenty-four hours to get over my emotional state of disarray and to finally gain back the basic function in my brain.

Though something still caused me disbelief how had my life gone from relatively calm to hell in just a few days. It was a domino effect one day after another but I wouldn't wait for myself to crash down and burn.

I had pulled myself together enough to know that I was going to need to sort out my problems step by step and sadly the easiest part of it was coming to the realisation of all that had happened to me.

But since that phase had already passed, it was time to get answers....

I was aware that just less than a mere day ago I had told the wretched woman that I never wanted to see or hear from her again but sadly, she was the window to my answers and my second step to getting past all this drama that I had come to hate.
That passion for school that I had on Friday had long ebbed out and now it wasn't my priority anymore, hence explaining my pyjama state at 11 am as I procrastinated calling her up.

I stared at the phone number for over a half hour now contemplating whether it was worth it- wether this would give me the closure I needed to move on from at least this traumatising reveal of events.

I finally stopped chickening out and pressed the call button, a small part of me wishing that she just wouldn't pick up but she did and I deflated slightly.

"Hazel," Her tone was hopeful as she expected the forgiveness that I wasn't ready to give yet, maybe never even.

Maybe if she had stayed, stayed and protected me instead of leaving me to burden her mistake on my shoulders things would be different but she left, just like everyone else.

And my subconscious couldn't help comparing her to the woman I had known before as I let out a breathe, needing to sound cool and collected- I needed to be in control here.

Emotions would only overwhelm me when I needed to be the most clear-headed I had ever been.

"We need to meet." She didn't even hesitate as she replied with her fake tone though it had deflated slightly for it wasn't the response she was hoping to get, "of course!"

"Can you meet me at 5 pm today- do you even live in this country or near here?" I heard her sharp intake as she probably realised how out of touch she had been with us and how awful of a mom she was.

Well, it was too late for that.

"I live a half an hour away-I'll drive down to the coffee shop?"  I shook my head before realising she couldn't see me- the coffee shop brought back memories that I didn't want to relieve.

Memories filled with happiness and joy that would only bring me sorrow and pain to remember.

"Joe's." I left no room for arguing as I put down the phone. Joe's was one of the few places that we hadn't engraved our existence upon for it was relatively new in a town filled with old reminders.

I hauled myself out of bed to get dressed in a blue sweater and black jeans. I had no motivation to sit down and straighten my hair or put on any makeup besides the necessary concealer and bronzer.

I made my way down where Blake and Noah were eating an early lunch, a plate already out for me as if they had known I would grace them with my appearance..
Or that I couldn't skip more than a meal in a row...

I heard the door slam and a small smile made its way onto my face as I slid into my seat. Izzy came storming through with chris trailing behind her, his eyes like always glued to his phone.

'Wassup you homeless freaks," She took the seat to my left while chris sat opposite me, not bothering to acknowledge anyone as yet.

"We are not homeless," Noah rolled his eyes at the girl sitting in front of him, her eyebrow raised into the air and I just waited for her retort that would no doubt be the start of banter that one of us sensible people would have to halt.