Sex Bucket List • Tokyo revengers

Part 2 - Chapter 15

There are some things that are just too horrible, too unimaginable for your brain to process. Seeing someone stab themselves definitely is one of those things.

I blinked one, two, three times, but the sight before my eyes remained the same. Baji had just buried the blade of the knife deep inside his stomach, and there was nothing I could do. Absolutely nothing. I just watched him, incapable of screaming or moving a single muscle. 

When Baji fell backwards, it felt like I was falling with him, my stomach dropping as if I was on a roller coaster I had been forced to get on. My only anchors were the purple charm and the picture Baji had just given me. My hands tightened on them as though they could ground me to earth and keep me from feeling like I was free falling from the rooftop of a skyscraper.

"Baji!" Chifuyu let out a piercing scream. He ran towards Keisuke and crouched down on the ground next to him.

That's where Baji died a few seconds later. In his best friend's arms. 

A deathly silence hung over the entire junkyard as everyone watched the heartrending scene.

Kazutora didn't waste another second before stepping up to Mikey to provoke him. Mikey was going to kill him, and I certainly wasn't going to try to stop him, no one was. Well no one, except Takemichi.

He went to stand between Mikey and Kazutora, spreading his arms wide to protect the latter. "This isn't what Baji wanted!" He screamed. "Why the hell do you think he risked his own life?! It's because he didn't want Kazutora to feel responsible for his fate! Because he loves all of you guys! That's why he made that choice! Why can't you understand that?!"

Mikey and Kazutora paused, their eyes widening as the realization set in.

In the background, the wailing of several police sirens got louder and louder as they raced towards the junkyard, but I hadn't even registered it until I noticed that everyone was retreating. This was it, the end of the fight. The members from Valhalla and Toman were running away to avoid going getting caught by the police.

Mikey, Draken, Kazutora, Mitsuya, Chifuyu, and Takemichi all stayed behind, watching Baji's lifeless body in Chifuyu's arms. Slowly, I climbed off the hood of the car and took a step towards them, my eyes riveted to Keisuke. It felt like I was on auto-pilot; the bond between my heart and brain must have been brutally cut off or else my legs would have buckled under me. 

I stopped a few meters behind Mikey, and he turned to me. My heart sank even deeper in my chest the second we locked eyes. The bitter-sweet truth was that I was both the person who had hurt him the most and the person who could comfort him the best, and he knew it. I could see it in his dark eyes, in the way his whole body tensed as his urge to run towards me and his urge to scream at me to get the hell away from him battled it out.

My gaze dropped to his hand when he slowly held it out towards me. I looked back up into his eyes, and with an erratic heartbeat, I took a step forward. But before I could reach out my own hand, someone grabbed my waist from behind.

"We have to go."

Rindou.

Mitsuya's eyes quickly switched between Rindou and I, back and forth, before settling on me. "He's right, Y/N." He finally agreed. "You should leave now. The police are gonna be here any minute."

I heard what he said from a distance, as if a veil was covering my ears. The only thing I could focus on was Mikey and his hand he was still holding out for me to take.

"Let's go." Rindou grabbed my hand in his and started tugging me towards the gates. I finally tore my eyes away from Mikey and followed him.

As we strode through the junkyard, the sound of our shoes soles crunching the glass of car windows that had gotten shattered during the fight echoed the sound of my heart breaking in a million pieces inside my chest.

Before running out of the junkyard, I looked over my shoulder at Mikey one last time, catching the moment he slowly let his hand drop back to his side, his dark eyes still fixed on me.

The rest of the trip to my house was spent in complete silence. Rindou only let go of my hand once we had stopped in front of my door. I hadn't even realized I was trembling until I had to try to insert my key into the lock. My hand was shaking so much that I just couldn't do it.

"Here." Rindou gently took the keys from my hand. He opened the door for me, then placed a hand on the small of my back to invite me to go in. I stepped inside my empty house while he stayed on the porch.

The last thing I wanted was to be alone right now, but I didn't want to look weak in front of Rindou and ask him to stay, so I took a deep breath and willed the tears stinging my eyes not to fall as I turned to him. By some miracle, I managed to force the next words out of my mouth without bursting into tears.

"It's okay. You can leave." No. Please, stay.

His gaze dropped to my trembling hands and his gaze softened as he looked up at me.

"What if I don't want to?" He asked, stepping up to me. I peeked up at him as he cupped my cheek. "You shouldn't be alone right now."

My eyes fell closed. Thank you.

"Let's change your clothes first, yeah?" He asked, and I opened my eyes again, weakly nodding in response.

He closed the door and then took my hand in his again to lead me to my bedroom at the end of the hallway. I sat on the edge of my bed while he went to stand in front of me. He grabbed the bottom of Ran's hoodie to pull it over my head, leaving me in a T-shirt. Ran's hoodie which used to be gray was now almost entirely red, soaked in Baji's blood.

"I'm sorry I ruined Ran's hoodie." I apologized, glancing up at Rindou as he eyed the hoodie in his hands.

His brows furrowed as he stared down at me, finding tears hanging at the rim of my eyes.

"I'm really, really sorry." I repeated with a sniffle.

"Hey." He knelt down in front of me, and I avoided his gaze, turning my head to the side. "Look at me." He held my face in his hands, turning it back towards him. "You didn't ruin anything. It's just a stupid sweatshirt, okay?"

He stood up, went into my bathroom, and came back with a damp towel that he used to wipe the dried blood off my face and lips. Once my face was clean, he went back into the bathroom to let the towel dry on a rack. I was still sitting on the edge of my bed when he walked into my bedroom, my gaze riveted to the floor.

I peeked up at him as he sat in my bed. "Come here." He told me softly, patting the spot next to him.

We both lay on our side, his chest pressing against my back. He pulled up the blanket over us before wrapping both arms around me.

"I'm sorry." He whispered against my hair, his arms tightening around me.

All I could think of in that moment was ... who was going to do that for Mikey? When we were dating, I was the one who took care of him, the one who stayed by his side after his fights,... Why did I feel like I had abandoned him when he probably didn't even want me to be near him again? When he probably had at least ten other girls ready to do those exact same things for him?