Soul Searching

Chapter 1

Since that day I've been locked in a cell; arm bound at my side, the other was lost in my fight against Naruto. It didn't bother me. I felt like this was punishment for all my wrong doings, that I deserved it.

Kakashi and Naruto would visit occasionally and a medic ninja would come in to check my arm but never her. She was the one I wanted to see the most. I never voiced it, it was her choice and she had every right to avoid me.

"Sasuke," it was Kakashi this time, "you are being released."

I didn't raise my head. This would be something that anyone in my situation would want to hear but I didn't feel I deserved it.

"Sasuke?"

I slowly raised my head to look him in his eyes, "Why?" is all I said.

"Because of your efforts in ending the war. And it helps if a war hero and the Sixth Hokage vouch for you as well."

"Hn" was all I could muster and I shook my head. I didn't know how I felt about it yet. He didn't say anything else and left my cell.

A few days had passed since that conversation. Kakashi arrived and oversaw my release. They wrapped my arm in bandages before letting me go. I was given all black clothing with a black cape. My hair had grown longer and was now close to covering my eyes.

"Are you ready?" He asked. He was taking me to the Hokage's office so we could discuss what it was that I wanted to do from here.

I got a lot of mixed reactions to people seeing me walking free through the village. Some were passive, others looked at me in disgust. I didn't even glance in their direction, I stayed forward facing and continued walking to the Hokage Building.

Kakashi walked around his desk to sit in his chair, leaning back with his hands clasped over his stomach. He had dismissed Shizune from the room so we could speak freely and privately.

"So Sasuke, what do you want to do now?"

I mulled his question over and over in my mind. I hadn't thought about what my new life would be outside of that cell, it wasn't something I could picture.

"I- I don't know" I answered honestly.

His eye brows raised from my response, he clearly wasn't expecting it. He probably assumed I had some semblance of what I wanted to do; I had a lot of time to think in that cell.

"Why don't you take some time to think about it, hmm? I know a certain someone who has been wanting to see you."

For a moment my stomach jumped into my throat but, as if on cue, it was Naruto who bursted into the office. Not her.

"Sasuke! Wanna get some Ichiraku with me?" he asked as he draped his arm across my shoulders. I sighed with obvious disappointment.

"Why not." All I had was prison food for months so ramen sounded like a delicacy to me right now.

My conversation was now officially finished with Kakashi so Naruto led me from the office to Ichiraku's.

It has been many years since I had been there, at least 6 if I was thinking correctly. It would've been before I left the village. It seemed like a lifetime ago honestly.

We sat at the bar and ordered our food. It took no time at all for it to be ready. Teuchi set our bowls in front of us, piled high with noodles, vegetables, and pork. My mouth watered at the sight of it. Naruto wasted no time digging in and neither did I.

"I don't know if Kakashi-Sensei told you yet or not but they're generating new arms for us out of the First Hokage's cells. Pretty cool if you ask me."

I finished slurping up the ends of my noodles before responding. "Us?"

He laughed, "Yeah us. They're making one for each of us." Then he awkwardly raised his bowl to his mouth with his one hand so he could drink the broth. Once his bowl was back on the table, he asked for more.

I stayed quiet. Why would they make me a new arm? Did I even deserve it? I couldn't understand how they would think I did, after everything I did to the village.

I finished my bowl before standing and thanking Teuchi for the food. Naruto looked up at me surprised, "You done already?" he asked just as his second bowl was sat before him.

"Yeah" was all I said. I paid for my food and then left. I needed to talk to Kakashi. I walked back to the Hokage's office. The sun had just set over the horizon but I knew he would still be there.

"You what?"

I leveled my eyes at him, annoyed that I had to repeat myself. "I don't want the arm."

"And may I ask why not?" Obviously he was annoyed by the stubbornness.

"I don't think I deserve it. I think there's more I need to do to earn it."

He steepled his fingers in front of his face, "Sasuke you've been pardoned of all your crimes. You don't need to make up or earn anything."

His words didn't change my feelings. "I'm leaving the village."

His eyes widened in shock, "What?" I was really throwing him through a loop here. He drug his hands down his face.

"I've decided. I want to travel and experience the world in my current state. I can't stay in the village." Not even for her, I finished in my head.

He sighed, definitely annoyed, "Sasuke you don't have to leave. You don't have to do anything to get this arm. What is going on?"

"I just- I just need time to process everything. I don't know where to go from here and I can't do that surrounded by everyone I hurt. I need distance."

"When are you expecting to leave?"

I didn't want to waste time. I knew what I wanted to do. "Tomorrow."

"You're going to leave without even seeing- never mind. If this is what you want Sasuke then I'll see you off tomorrow at the East Gate."