Soul Searching

Chapter 24

Even though it was nearing winter where we were it felt as if it was peak summer weather here. The sun was shining bright and the wind was cool and steady.

I was headed towards the village but where I was going was on the outskirts on the opposite side. It wouldn't be a long walk, maybe a mile or two.

I could've opened my portal closer but I didn't want anyone to see and I also wanted to have time to think and figure out what to say. How would I explain these dreams and hope they don't think I'm crazy?

In no time I was on their doorstep. Before I could raise my hand to knock I heard my name shouted from inside. The door flew open a second later, "Hi Sasuke!"

"Hi Akiko, is your mother home?" She was hopping from foot to foot with excitement.

"Mama! Sasuke's back!" She took off inside the house, leaving me at the door. I stayed in place waiting for Hana. It only took a moment before she appeared and she smiled at me like the way a mother does at their child.

"Sasuke, it's wonderful to see you. What brings you back?"

"I actually only came back so I could talk to you. Do you have a minute to talk privately?"

Her face became a mixture of serious and worry but she instantly nodded, shutting the door and stepping outside. We decided to walk on the road nearby as we talked.

"Hana, what is it like becoming a parent?"

"Now I know what you've been doing these past few months" she joked. "Becoming a parent is something that is wonderful and terrifying all at once."

She nailed that one right on the head. "So who's the special girl Sasuke?"

I cracked a small smile, "She was one of my teammates when we were Genin. She's the head of the medical department in the Hidden Leaf Village now. She's a talented kunoichi."

"You speak very highly of her. How far along is her pregnancy?"

"She's about 4 months now."

We walked along in silence for a little while before she spoke again. "I feel like there's more on your mind. I know you didn't travel all this way to ask what becoming a parent is like."

I sighed outwardly. "I've been having these dreams. It's like I'm at war with myself. I dream of Sakura needing me, screaming my name but I'm doubting that she actually needs me. That she might be better off without me."

"Do you think that you don't deserve her?"

Of course I didn't. After everything I put her through since we were kids, I'm lucky she even looked my direction. I wasn't going to go into detail about all that though. "I know that I don't."

"She clearly loves you or she wouldn't be with you Sasuke. You're being hard on yourself."

"Kind of hard not to be" I muttered, which made her laugh.

"I think you're just scared to be a father. Am I right?"

"Hn" I agreed. It was a huge fear of mine. I lost my father at a young age and didn't have anyone to show me how a father should be to their children.

"Have you talked to her about how you feel?"

"No. I don't want her to stress or worry."

"Have you thought that maybe she feels the same way about becoming to mother?"

I stopped walking because what she said made perfect sense. Maybe Sakura was scared too but she didn't want to make me worry.

"Thank you Hana. I'm going to go talk to her now." She gave me a quick hug before I jumped back through a portal to our room.