Hinata's broken mask

Chapter 8

*POV Sugawara*

When we finally arrived at Hinatas house what felt like forever, we saw a police officer talk to Hinata and then go away. (The others were already gone then.) I felt so sick suddenly. What happened, is Hinata okay?! I started panic and looked to Daichi next to me. He was afraid too and started running towards Hinata. I did the same.

We run and screamed his name, but he seemed to not hear us. He just stood there. He looked so lifeless. He looked into nothing and didn't notice what was happening around him. This teared my heart apart. The sight of this was not takeable.

After we finally arrived at Hinata and continued to scream at him, he seemed to be in trance. I was so scared about him. I grabbed his shoulder and started shaking him, while Daichi waved with his hands in front of Hinatas face, to see if he would notice us then.

After a few times shaking he finally blinked. Then he moved his eyes to see what was happening. And then finally his body moved too and he seemed to be able to hear and notice us again. We looked at him relived and hugged him. Then we went inside with him. He still didn't say a word and didn't answer our questions what was wrong.

After we sat him down on the sofa he seemed to finally become conscious again. He had an expression again. He looked so lifeless before but now he was here again. We stayed quiet, to not overtax him. It stayed like that for a while until Daichi broke the silence.

D: "Do you want to tell us what happened?"

Silence.

*POV Hinata*

I sat on the couch, next to me Sugawara sat hugging me. Daichi sat on a chair in front of me and looked at me worried. But there was a warmth in his look, so that I wanted to jump crying into his arms and tell him everything. After all my dad was gone now. That means, he was no danger anymore.

I just wanted to hug Sugawara and Daichi and tell them everything that was bothering me. They both stayed quiet. I was glad, I could organize my thoughts. At some point Daichi spoke then.

D: "Do you want to tell us what happened?"

I opened my mouth to tell him everything, I wanted to scream it:

My mom run away with my sister and since then my father abused me every single day! The bruises you saw were from him. Then my mom came back to get me and my father murdered her and my sister.

I wanted to say it. I tried, but no words came. There was no sound. Not even a whisper. I tried again, but again I couldn't manage to speak out everything I wanted to say.

I looked at them helpless and I think they understood what I wanted to tell them with that. Because then they oly asked questions I could answer with yes or no.

S: "Did the police came because of you?"

- I shook my head.

D: "Because of your father?"

- Nodding.

Then a quick pause followed by, like they didn't dare to ask.

D: "Did... Did he do that?"

- He pointed towards my body and i understood. At first I looked down, like I wasn't sure anymore to tell them. So Daichi asked another time, this time more specific and more careful, like I would break.

D: "Did he hit you?"

- I slowly nodded.

D: "Did he also cut you?"

- Again I admitted.

D: "Did... Did he do something else to you?"

Suddenly I got scared. Scared they might know, that anyone might know. I didn't want it to be true, what he did to me. I couldn't take those thoughts. I tried to ban it from my head and quickly shook my head. Maybe a little to quick, because both of them went silent again.

This time it was a different silence. Earlier they just wanted to give me time, but this time they were afraid to say anything. Just like I would die if they made another sound. But they also seemed to not like the silence so Sugawara started talking.

S: "Is this going on for a long time?"

- No

S: "Just for this week?"

- I looked at him a little surprised how he could know that and slowly nodded.

S: "Did you eat anything since then?"

- Here again I told the truth and shook my head and looked down because I was afraid to get yelled at. But he continued.

S: "Did you sleep?"

- No again.

S: "Did you... "

This question seemed to be hard for him. He was afraid to ask, but I confirming looked at him so he continued.

S: "Did you hurt yourself?"

- I was a little surprised about this question so I forgot to move. Both of them looked even more worried now so I quickly shook my head. They seemed glad after that question was asked.

It got late and they got on their way home but asked me first if i wanted to come to them. I just thought they didn't even know about my mom, but i didn't want to tell them. So I stayed with a no and they said goodbye.

After they closed the door behind them I went upstairs to get ready. I turned on the water and went inside the shower. After I was done I put on a boxershorts and lied down in bed. I again looked into nothing and thought about nothing.

I was like in trance again, like I wasn't in my body right now but somewhere else, far away, in a completely black room. In front of me there was a big window, but it didn't seem real, because it didn't seem like I could touch it and no matter how much I went towards it, it always had the same difference to me. I was some kind of lighting effect, like a rainbow. Threw the window I could see everything that was in my sight, but it was different, like I wasn't in my body.

Then I could feel hot tears run down my face. I didn't notice how I started crying. I cried even more and it felt like I couldn't breathe. So I sat up and started crying even harder. I just sat there and cried, nothing more. I didnt think of anything, I just let the tears flow.

I dont know how much time passed but it felt like forever. I cried often last week, but this time it was different. I didn't cry out of hate, anger or self-pity. No, this time i just cried. I didn't even know why. I mean sure, it was probably because of my mom and my sister and also my father. No! He is not my father and I will never call him that again!

I cried.

And at some point no tears were left and I noticed how light it was outside already.