Hinata's broken mask

Chapter 10

*POV Hinata*

We were still walking through the city, but I didn't feel comfortable. I looked horrible and then there was this blue eye. I felt the people looking at me. I tried to ignore them but it wasnt that easy.

At some point Kageyama stopped, told me with his hand that I should wait here and then went inside a store. Soon he came out with some food and gave me one of the two bags. I felt so damn sick. I couldn't eat. I just wasn't able to.

Kageyama seemed to notice it and went back to my home.

K: "Come on, eat. I know it's incredibly hard for you, but you have to. Otherwise you will faint. And... I don't want that"

After Kageyama told me that, I forced it down my throat. I took a bite and chewed it. My throat felt like it was completely closed, impossible to swallow. It took me a lot of strength to swallow it, but I had no other choice.

And again, chewing, then swallowing. I tried it again and again and I felt even sicker than before. I ran to the bathroom and immediately threw up. Kageyama followed me. I sat in front of the toilet and threw up again.

At that time Kageyama sat down next to me and drew circles on my back with his fingers. I can't tell why but it made me feel a little better. We continued sitting there for a while, in case I had to throw up again, then we stood up. I was embarrassed.

Today Kageyama saw my worst side, I was weak and fragile. He went to the kitchen again and put the rest of the food into the freezer, since there still was a lot left.

Then he looked to his phone and seemed to text someone. I looked confused to him and he answered me

K: "I texted my mom. I will stay tonight. It's late, you should sleep."

At first I thought it was a joke, but after I saw his serious face I knew he meant it. So I sighted and went upstairs. I went to the bathroom and got changed for bed, but I hesitated a moment.

Normally I didn't wear a shirt to sleep but I also didn't want Kageyama to see my body like this. I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my bruises.

At some time Kageyama knocked and asked if everything was alright. I wanted to answer him that everything was fine, but no sound left my lips. Because I couldn't answer him he seemed to worry, because a moment later he opened the door to look if everything was okay.

I quickly looked away, because i didn't want to see his shocked face when he saw my bruises. I knew exactly what was about to happen, he would ask questions, but I couldnt answer them. He would get mad and yell at me and then some time go away.

Then he would tell the others and no one would ever let me in peace again. I would have to leave the club because the others would-

My thoughts immediately stopped when i could feel something warm on my skin. His skin was on mine and he was so damn close. I probably turned pretty red but he didn't seem to care.

After some time he pulled away from the hug and said I should finally go sleep. I was surprised he didn't ask any questions, but nodded and went to bed. I lied down after he said he would take the couch.

He was just about to go, but i wanted him to stay. Before I could even think i noticed how my hand grabbed his and he stopped. He turned around and I wanted to tell him to stay, but i just couldn't talk.

But that wasnt necessary, because he seemed to understand and lied down in bed right next to me. He asked if that was fine and i nodded. He then turned off the lights. I couldn't sleep, again, so I just stared like usually at the ceiling. He seemed to notice because he took my hand. I was as red as a tomato. I actually fell asleep before I knew.

TW

Suddenly i was in the floor again, in front of the front door. I sat at the ground and looked with scared eyes up to him. There he stood again, the man I never wanted to see again. He hit me until I lied there and couldn't move and run away anymore. Suddenly my mom came through the door and stood in front of me to save me. My Borth-giver, who now got the knife, put it to her stomach and stabbed her. Then he stabbed her again and again. My mom, who still stood above me, was scared to death. The blood, coming out of her stomach, was dropping down on me. Then one last stab. She fell down ans I knew it was her end. He started cutting me with the still bloody knife. He cutted deeper and deeper and it hurted. Then my little sister came inside and stood, just like my mother, in front of me to save me. He hit her in her face and pushed her aside. Her head hit the stairs and she didn't move anymore. I knew that she too was dead. Then my birth-giver went to me again and undressed me. He grinned while doing that. I knew what was about to happen, but that was still to much for me. He grabbed down and I wanted him to stop. Then he undressed himself too and I wanted to throw up. He started and went inside of me. It hurted so bad. But the pain he did to me in my thoughts were way worse. I screamed at him to stop but he continued. He was having fun. I screamed and screamed but nothing helped. "STOP! STOP IT! LET ME GO!" I screamed.

TW end

I could feel something shaking me and after I finally opened my eyes I could see Kageyama. I could feel the tears run down my face already and tried to stop it but it didn't work. He put his hand on my head and moved his finders very slowly. I started calming down and my way to fast breathing started normalizing.

When I could breathe again i looked at him while still crying. His eyes were so beautiful, I looked inside and felt like everything was going to be okay. I hugged him and lied my head against his shoulder. He petted me and whispered things like

"Everything is going to be okay, no one can hurt you anymore. Your are safe here. I am taking care. Everything is okay."

I slowly calmed down but didn't stop crying. I lied there in his arms and he took care of me. I slowly closed my eyes, while he still didn't stop petting my head. With the other hand he held me tight so I felt safe. I peacefully lied there while tears came out of my eyes. And at some point I fell asleep again.

I often woke up in that night and every time he was there to calm me down. I only slept like 10 minutes then until I started screaming again, couldn't breathe and started shaking. He helped me every time to find my way back to sleep.