Hinata's broken mask

Chapter 27

*POV Daichi*

TW

(This continues until the next chapter)

I just wanted to put away my bag when Hinata crossed my path. He wanted to hang up his jacket so I offered to take it for him. He happily agreed and in the next moment he already disappeared again.

He was kind of acting strange. He seemed happy and I was happy for him, but it somehow seemed different. Well I guess he was just really drunk.

I continued my way to put my bag away. Then Hinata's jacket, but it just slipped out of my hand while trying to hang up my bag. I laughed a little about my clumsiness until I looked at what fell out of the pocket.

It was a little box and next to it lied a tiny bag with white powder. Oh no! NO NO NO!!! That wasn't possible! Hinata would never do such thing! NEVER! He'd never take drugs, that was no possible!

I opened the little box and kind of jumped a little. Inside was not actually... That couldn't actually be inside of it! There was a little blade and some bandages. Next to it lied 2 more tiny boxes. One said: Sleeping pills and the other said: Painkillers. Underneath I found a letter that had Karasuno written on it.

I opened the letter and couldn't believe what I just read.

Hey guys,

Now it actually happened. Now you actually did find this letter. That means you're standing next to my lifeless body. Or at least it is lying somewhere. This is my last letter to you. The last one at all. So I did manage, finally ended my meaningless life. I only want to tell you, this letter was some kind of emergency. I thought when I'm gonna kill myself I'll write a proper one, but in case I won't be able to do that anymore, in case everything gets too much, this letter at least leaves something.

I guess I owe you an explanation right? Everything started just a while ago. You all know that I haven't been quite healthy the last few day and I possibly even already told you all about it, but it is about my father.

He started hitting me when my mom run away with my sister. He obviously also seemed to think it was hilarious to rape me. Some day he also started cutting me until I passed out. Then this happened every day for a whole week. My mom then came back to get me. But as soon as I got home both her and my little sister had died. My father killed them both and is currently in prison.

Ever since I am barely getting by. I can neither sleep nor eat. I also got send to hospital because of this, but you know this part. I started hurting myself. I couldn't take all this emotional stress anymore so I covered it with physical pain. That made me get addicted. I know, there would have been other ways, but I just didn't know what to do. Now everything is only getting worse and I just can't do it anymore. I am sorry. It was not your fault, from none of you!

I really love all of you so much. You were truly my family.

Shoyo Hinata.

I reread the letter for a second time, then a third. That wasn't possible! Did he actually want to kill himself?! No, I don't think so, at least not right now. He had taken some drugs so he was in a pretty good mood right now. The letter was only an emergency letter. In case he wanted to kill himself immediately and didn't have time to write a new one. But he was in a good mood right now.

Inside the letter was also a picture. It showed every person in our team. Then I found another little note that said everyone in our team plus Kenma should be able to read this letter. I didn't want this, Hinata was not going to kill himself!

He still had taken drugs. And I couldn't just ignore the letter too. I put the box back into his jacket and then got on my way to find him with the bag of drugs in my hand.

As I entered the room of the party I loudly yelled his name.

D: "HINATA! Hinata Shoyo you will come here right now and explain this!"

I didn't get an answer. Kageyama came towards me and explained Hinata was actually supposed to sit here. He was just getting some drinks and now Hinata was gone.

Then I pictured the letter in my inner eyes. What if he was actually going through with it right now?! If that was no coincidence but he intentionally got outside to give his jacket to me. Oh no!!!

That couldn't happen! I immediately run around screaming his name. The others noticed the panic in my voice and helped me looking for him. We run outside to look for him there. As I got outside I saw him.

D: "He is on top of the roof!! FUCK!! We have to go up there, RIGHT NOW!"

Before I even finished talking I already run back inside. Then upstairs. Please don't let him jump, please! He can't jump! Just hold on a little longer, I'll be there in just a moment! Hinata please don't do this!!

As I entered the rooftop and run outside I could see him at the edge. He stared down.

*POV Hinata*

I was on the rooftop. I didn't really know why I was up here. Just a second ago I was down there and enjoyed the cold wind. It felt like I could fly. So I went to the rooftop.

But up here it felt different. As I stood here and looked at the abyss the feeling to fly was still there. But there was also something else. I felt freedom. Desire. Release.

I just had to jump and everything was over. Just a tiny step then I'd be done. I wouldn't experience any sorrow, feel no pain.

I didn't believe in an afterlife. I believed if I died that's it. I couldn't think anymore, I couldn't feel anymore. My existence would vanish, Only my memory stays behind. This and my corpse. But I wouldn't actually know it then.

I normally got scared at the thought of this, but not this time. If that was the effect of the drug? I felt no fear. I took a step forward and now stood right at the edge. Just a few inches. Just a little more.

I closed my eyes and all sound faded. I tried enjoying my last few minutes in this world. I thought about Kageyama. About the team. I loved them all so dearly. I was so thankful for everything they did for me.

I smiled one last time before lifting my leg and taking another step forward. That was it. Now it was over, I couldn't stop it anymore. In just a few seconds I'd fell to the ground and die.