Hinata's broken mask

Chapter 13

*POV Hinata*

I woke up from Kageyama next to me. He probably woke me up now, so he wouldn't have to because of a nightmare, which could ruin my entire day. I was so thankful for that. I really wanted to thank hum but I still couldn't talk. He seemed to notice because he smiled at me and said

K: "We'll get your voice back somehow. I am sure it will get better on its own. Its only the stress now, so dont worry.

I nodded and then went to the bathroom. The drawer I was hiding the blade in catched my sight. At first I didn't want to, but then gave in and pit it in my bag. I mean I didn't have to use it, but you never know.

We went to school, even though the others told me to stay at home, but I didn't want that at all right now. So they gave in and I was allowed to go to practice. The morning practice went quiet, without anything special, but when I went to the hall after school, I could feel someone say I wasnt worth anything and should cut. It wasn't like a voice I could hear, more like some kind of Programm that was warning me about something while it went on survival modus. Like the error signal of a computer. Or some kind of virus killer.

I could feel a hand on my shoulder and when I turned around Daichi stood there. The look in his eyes said everything. He didn't want me to practice, because i felt so bad, but on the other hand he couldn't risk any throwbacks that makes me fall down the abyss. So he let me participate. If only he knew I was already standing at the abyss and went even towards the edge. But at least he distracted me.

In practice everything went pretty bad. I couldn't hit a single ball. But it wasn't Kageyama's fault, because he set the ball perfectly. I was surprised how bad I was. But I was mainly disappointed and shocked. Coach Ukai yelled at me the entire time that I should talk to my team because volleyball was a team sport. Even though Sugawara and Daichi then explained to him that I couldn't speak anymore for some reason, his words stayed in my head. They were echoing. He was right.

TW

I went to the toilet and started drawing lines on my skin again. Those many lines together were art, but on a canvas, one out of the skin of a human. Mine. I thought it was weird somehow, while tattooing you would stich into the skin as well. But there were some differences. A tattoo is only about the art, for me it was about the pain that felt like freedom for a moment.

I wanted a tattoo. If I somehow would survive this, I would tattoo both of my arms. Most of the wounds were there, so of course there would be the most scars.

TW end

After I was done I put the bandages back in and hid it under my pullover. I decided to only wear the bandages when the cuts were only a few hours old. But that meant for me 2 or 3 hours max. Otherwise the use of bandages would be even higher. When I came back the lucky news came:

Mr Takeda: "Good news! We got invited for a training camp with Nekoma. The other schools like Fukorodani will be there too of course. The camp will start this weekend and end in 4 weeks."

Of course we accepted and I got happy to see Kenma. I even thought about asking for advice, in a few things. I was so exited. I started running again to hit one of Kageyama's setted balls. But as soon as I jumped everything went black and I could feel nothing.

*POV Noya*

We were all pretty exited because of the amazing news. Everyone seemed even more motivated, even Hinata. He was kinda different the last few days. He somehow looked thinner or did I just imagine that? And he also seemed to be really exhausted.

He looked normal last week but today he came here with a black eye. And also his skin was pale and there were dark circles under his eyes. That wasn't there last week. But his eye didn't look like a weekend accident, it looked older.

I was confused. Also Daichi said that Hinata couldn't speak anymore for some reason. Daichi and Sugawara were pretty sure it wouldn't last long but I was worried.

When I look around everyone seemed worried about Hinata, even TSUKISHIMA?! Even though he didn't let anyone notice, I knew him long enough to see it. But Hinata's looks weren't the only thing that worried me. He lost his smile. He may have hid it through a fake smile, but if you know Hinata, you could clearly see it. Also his eyes looked so empty and he was always in his thoughts and got worse in volleyball.

I observed him to find answers when he just jumped to hit a ball. Then his eyes were suddenly empty. He also didn't move. The ball flew away and he didn't seem to notice. Then Hinata fell straight down, without the impression to safe himself. He landed on the ground, his head hit the floor and he still didn't move a bit.

Everyone ran towards him while the coach tried to speak to him and then immediately called 911. Hinata lied there, as if he was dead already. And he was so pale so you could even believe it. Daichi checked the pulse and the breathing. The breathing didn't seem to bother him, but at the pulse his face froze.

None of us could move a single bit, until soon later the ambulance arrived. One of them yelled "NO PULSE" as someone else nearly at the same time started reanimating him. We all got send out of the hall by that time. After a few minutes that felt like hours they came out and put him inside of the ambulance. Kageyama drove with them to the hospital and we others quickly went there too.

As we arrived Kageyama tried to contact Hinata's mother, but failed. He told us he didn't know anything new and tried to contact Hinata's mother the whole time.