Hinata's broken mask

Chapter 16

*POV Kenma*

Hinata acted strange. He was so much quieter than usually, that didn't fit to him at all. He didnt have a voice because of some reason that Daichi didn't want to say. Or at least not in front of Hinata. He talked to strange. And then there was this thing with the jacket even though we'd melt in this sun. I suspected that he was being hit at home and because of that he wore the jacket and because of the trauma he didn't talk. And then there was this other thing that he wasn't allowed to play volleyball until Monday.

Maybe he got hurt before and has to go easy on Monday but he would have told me. But that would fit with my Theorie. He either got hurt so bad that he couldn't play or he broke down. I thought the 2. one was more likely, because the stress and everything does things to someone like sleep deprivation or not eating enough food. Both would explain a breakdown.

I had another Theorie. He lost his voice for a reason, a trauma was nearly obvious. Maybe he cuts himself, that would explain the jacket. And the thing with the doctor could be just a coincidence and was an accident or sum. But the first Theorie sounds more logical. Maybe he still hurts himself because of the trauma of the mistreatment.

I was completely in my thoughts so that I only noticed the ball when someone called my name. I still got it right in my face. I didn't get hurt but Kuroo looked at me with a sight that I immediately understood. It meant something like

'You're not that in your thoughts while the game. You usually also think about a lot during the game and still concentrate and play chill. And now you let this get you stressed. You like him huh?'

I was a little annoyed but also thankful that he got me back into the game. I then looked at him with a sight just as meaningful that meant something like

'Ah come on, even an idiot like you noticed that there is a lot going on with him right now and his state pretty serious is. And yea of course I like him but my heart already belongs to someone else!'

After this he got a little restless. He was a little distracted in the game, only a minute but that explained the emotional chaos he just had. I laughed to myself. If he only wasn't that big of an idiot he would know that I obviously meant him.

I think everyone but him understood it so I teased him a little with it. But of course I wanted him just for myself finally, to call him my boyfriend and cuddle as a real couple and all that. I could forget that he would make the first move because for that he was to much of an idiot. So I planned on telling him, soon. I just didn't know how yet.

After the beach we went back to the school we would sleep in. All of us sat down at different places. I sat with Hinata, Sugawara, Nishinoya, Tanaka and Yaku. We talked a little until the subject got boring. So then Sugawara asked Shoyo at some point how things were with Kageyama. From then the subject was pretty interesting again. Hinata's face turned all red while he tried to hide it in a pillow.

All of us laughed and Sugawara told us what happened between them recently. He said that Kageyama spend a few nights at Shoyo's house and the cuddled. Then Sugawara came to visit Shoyo while Kageyama was there and as he arrived there he saw Kageyama sitting on the couch while Shoyo cuddled against him. They even held hands.

We had a lot of fun to tease him a little until Tanaka asked Sugawara about Daichi. Then a photo followed of them sleeping in the bus. Sugawara first panicked a little but then understood he could trust us so he told us

S: "Well, there isn't really anything between us, he thinks of me as a good friend and that's all."

N(oya): "Are you kidding?! Of course he has a crush on you and everyone knows!"

S: "Aha and what's between you and Asahi?"

N: "You know exactly how he is. His feelings can be hurt pretty easily. We are taking it slow."

Y(aku): "You lovebirds!"

K(enma): "You don't have to laugh, what's between you and Lev?"

Y: "Psssht he might hear you! Yea I admit that I like him but he is so annoying and never does what I tell him to. He's like a little kid so you can't really expect adult feelings from him. And you Kenma?! I saw your looks today! So you got a little crush!!"

K: "I don't even deny it. Kuroo is really annoying and a complete idiot but i still like him somehow. But he doesn't understand my little messages and I tease him with it but in subject love nothing changes!"

All of them looked at me surprised, probably because i talked so much but i somehow also wanted to talk about my feelings. The others did that too. We continued talking about these things for a while. We of course also talked about Tanaka who obviously had a crush, but we all were pretty much the same opinion that Shimizu liked him back. Another of the last subjects were Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. About them we were the same opinion too. The only person who couldn't talk about his feelings was Shoyo.

At some point the others came too and we changed the subject. Most of them went to bed but Shoyo and i went out for a walk. It was dark outside. I decided to carefully ask him about my Theorie.

After i was done he hesitated for a moment but then nodded to confirm my Theorie. I made clear to always be there for him and talk to him. He could tell me anything. I wouldn't even judge him if he told me he hurted himself. Obviously i didn't tell him that because he shouldn't feel pressured.

He stopped walking for a moment and looked to the ground. Then he pulled his sleeve up and showed some little cuts. All of them were pretty fresh, none was older than 2 weeks. I hugged him to show him that I didn't judge him. He cried a little.

Meanwhile I continued asking about his father, I knew he was feeling uncomfortable but he seemed ready for this talk right now. And since he couldn't tell me anything on his own I just asked. When I asked him about the subject rape he froze. He looked to the ground and started shaking. That was answer enough. i stopped with my questions and helped him calm down.

Then at some point on the way something happened, at a quiet place. A man ran towards us. At first we thought of him as a jogger but as he got closer he seemed creepy. And as we thought that he already was here. He took Shoyo and held him up. Then he grabbed me. He walked fast towards a black truck. It was obviously someone trying to kidnap us. He probably took us because we weren't that tall and didn't look like we could fight back.

I was so scared for Shoyo. I mean it wasn't exactly this what happened to him but could make him think of it easily. Kidnapping, Mistreatment, rape. This were the words you would think at this situation. And technically it fit. I screamed and hit around me that he had to let go of Shoyo. I tried to get myself free, to hurt him but without success.

Then the kidnapper suddenly stopped. I looked to Shoyo who hardly kicked his balls. He suddenly started screaming what he though he would do there. He had his voice back. We took that chance to escape. Then we run away as fast as we could. We didn't stop and didn't turn back. We continued running until we arrived at the school. We run inside and then looked through the closed door. We couldn't see the man anywhere, not far away and also not anywhere close. We calmed down a little.

Then I spoke to Shoyo. Mostly to see if his voice actually came back or only worked in this emergency. He answered me. So he actually could speak again! I was so relieved.

It was already after midnight now. We went to bed but before Shoyo took as sleeping pill. On the way to the sleeping room he talked a lot. What happened with his father. How his mother and sister died. How he stood awake at night and Kageyama helped him. How he broke down because he didn't eat and lastly how he started to cut himself. He talke everything off of his chest from what he stood silent until now. After that he felt a lot better and I promised him to not tell anyone. So he went to bed how he described before and Kageyama immediately took care of him. Then I went to bed too.