Are You Bored Yet?

8

um... hey.

i looked back at a comment i got on the last chapter asking for a new chapter and i said "on it now" as if i didn't drop off the face of the earth for like three months... (update that was like two months ago💔)

anyways im sorry again. i don't want to seem like im making excuses i've just been having mental issues lately🙈 but im back now!!!

a month had passed since that night.

ron and lavender seemed to be everywhere together. at meals, in hogsmeade, classes, in the common room, everywhere.

briar would try not to cry when she was alone. she didn't want to be crying over a boy, but she couldn't help her emotions, and it hurt so bad.

thinking about them together made her feel physically ill. genuinely sick to her stomach.

she hated herself because she kept telling herself that she brought this whole ordeal upon herself.

she knew he had did wrong but she couldn't stop feeling like shit.

harry had been helping a lot.

he would tell her how ron was 'a git' and how lavender didn't hold a candle to her.

lavender was beautiful. she was every boy's dream. dirty blonde long hair, big blue eyes, a girly, giggly personality, and a beautiful smile.

she would spend her mornings, nights, and days going over the whole dilemma. briar was so confused and lost in her thoughts trying to figure out, who was in the wrong.

she ultimately came to the conclusion they both did shitty things.

but, logically, ron did nothing wrong. emotionally, she felt humiliated.

the facts were, they never talked about what they were and never specified anything. but they both knew they had deep feelings for the other and didn't want to be with anyone else, let alone the other with anyone else.

they never said they were exclusive and that's a fact. that's where the logic came in.

but, they never needed to say it. that's where the emotion came in.

briar knew ron wouldn't want her to be with anyone else and would feel betrayed. and ron knew that briar felt the same way.

she was stuck in limbo, she hated him but mostly hated herself. she felt stupid. stupid that she didn't say "i want us to be official." but also stupid that she relied on words left unsaid, hoping it was enough for trust.

in public she wouldn't even look in either ron or lavender's direction. she would pretend they weren't there.

of course harry and ron were still talking, they were closer than her and harry ever could be.

she knew harry was mad at ron but also he was still his friend and it's not his fight.

briar was often late to classes, skipping breakfast or lunch because she was sleeping. she slept a lot before, but now it's double.

she was going to do whatever she had to, to not see or hear ron.

of course they had classes together, but briar would often just daydream, blocking out everyone's voices.

harry now sat next to briar in the classes they had together where her and ron would sit together. he says it's because he doesn't wanna be around ron but briar has a feeling it's because lavender practically pushed harry out of his seats.

when she would see hermione harry and ron together she would always think to herself, wishing she could be apart of it or at least have a friend group. but now, she realizes just how lucky she is that she isn't part of their little trio. she's glad that she's only friends with harry and was something with ron, her and hermione were simply acquaintances.

since she didn't weasel her way into their friend group, that showed that if she did, this period of her and ron right now would have been even worse. she would have had to still hangout with all of them, because they would have all been friends. realizing this made her so unbelievably relieved because if she had to be around ron just because she would have been in the same friend group as him, she could imagine herself breaking into hysterics.

but that didn't mean that she didn't still wish she had someone there for her and who was truly on her side to help her get through this. besides toulouse, of course. but even cats can only help so much.

ron was also in a lot of pain and was almost using lavender to distract him from his feelings which he knew was wrong but he didn't want to let his pain consume him.

hermione would lecture him on how stringing lavender along was wrong but also knew most of her words were going in one ear and out the other.

everything was messed up. they both felt like they were in a rut that only they could fix but their pride was too high to try and fix it so soon. they were still angry with each other. and they weren't sure how long it would be until they would make up.

again im so so sorry for leaving you all hanging. i hope no one is mad but i do understand if you are. im sorry😭😭😭