THINGS WE SAID TODAY

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The moments following my water breaking were one big blur

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The moments following my water breaking were one big blur.

Meredith got Jackson and Arizona right away. She's been my OB this entire time. She's the only one I want to do this.

Jackson rushed over to me and held me through every contraction. Every time he asked me if I was okay.

"No, Jackson, I'm not okay." I exclaimed.

The car ride to the hospital was an even bigger blur. Every scary thought ran through my head. It's too early for her to come out, what if she doesn't make it? What if I'm not ready to be a mom? What if she hates me?

Jackson called his mother on the way there. She said she'll be there as soon as she could. She's not missing the birth of her first grandchild.

As we made it to the hospital with Mer driving, she spoke. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

I shook my head. "No. Bailey needs more than one bridesmaid."

"Are you sure?" She asked me.

Another contraction hit. "Yes!" I yelped in pain.

As soon as we got to the hospital, the contractions started to come faster and harder. Arizona got me hooked on every machine there was to see the baby. I saw her eyes fall when she looked at the monitor.

"What is it?" I asked frantically.

"Flor, this baby needs to come out right now." Arizona said right away. I started crying right then and there.

"What happened?" Jackson exclaimed.

"You said she was fine a few days ago!" I yelled. This can't be happening.

Arizona shook her head. "Anything can cause this. Stress, the plane crash, the surgeries you've done, but your cervix is crushing her head, the cord is wrapped around her neck and her heartbeat is getting slower and slower. I need to take her out now or she will die. Do you hear me?" She raised her voice.

I just nodded and cried. Jackson held my hand the entire time.

Arizona looked over to the nurse. "Page Karev 911." She then looked at me. "We're moving you up to the O.R., okay?"

"O.R.? Why?" I asked frantically.

"Do you trust me?" She asked me and took my hand.

I nodded.

"Then trust that I am going to save this baby." She replied.

She wheeled my bed to the O.R., Jackson trailing behind me.

"We don't even have a name. Or a nursery set up. I thought we had more time." I cried.

"Florence, we will figure all of that out when she's out and alive, okay?" He assured me. I don't know how he's staying strong through all of this. I am losing it.

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