DESIDERIUM

four

"Alright, there's also a small bathroom to the guestroom, it's the left door, the other is a closet. You can put your stuff there, and... yeah..."

This shit is more awkward than I thought it would be. I'm still debating if being with my uncle would've been better than this.

My whole body hurts. I've been nothing but tense these last few hours and I'm starting to feel it.

Although now it's just me and Levi, which makes it a little more bearable.

"Thank you," I state quietly and I can feel him starting at me for a few seconds before nodding his head and closing the door behind him.

I let out a loud sigh, pretty sure he can here it too.

This shit brings back more memories then I'd like to admit it. And it also hurts a lot more.

But not really, since the rejection was something I excepted.

And another sigh leaves my mouth. This time a tired one.

To shut up my thoughts, I start to actually get a look at the room.

It's kept simple, in all white with a king sized bed in the middle and some cupboards with books and candles on them. A television too.

Money isn't a issue for them, it seems.

Walking up to the bookshelf, I notice that most of thr books look like they've been read before and a small, rare smile makes it's way on my face, when memories of a small Levi reading his books in various places flash before my eyes.

Me and him used to spend a lot of time reading together and also reading to each other. Adrian just watched us most of the times, or listened when we read out loud.

My smile vanishes the second I realize that that's all in the past and a small dull ache makes it's way into my chest, one I'm used to already.

Just when I want to turn around, a small dark-blue book catches my eye and I breath in a small breath, not expecting him to have kept it after all... after all that happened.

The little prince.

To me you will be unique in all the world

Words so few and simple but that shot right through my little heart at the time Levi read them to me for the first time.

I even marked some of the quotes in there.

"Where are the people?" resumed the little prince at last. "It's a little lonely in the dessert..."

"It's lonely when you're among people, too," said the snake.

It honestly shouldn't have hurt as much as it did, reading those words. That's why I close the book after a few seconds of grazing my fingers over the written words lightly.

I really should stop being so fucking dramatic. Others have it worse. I had it worse.

A knock at my door makes me turn around and let out a small yes.

"I just wanted to tell you-" once Levi notices the book in my hands a dejected look spreads on his face.

"You're favorite book."

I nod, not wanting to tell him it's changed in the meantime, because even tho now I'd name another if someone asked what my favorite book is, it will always be one of my favourites.

"You gave this to me... on my fourteenth birthday."

Those words make my heart stumble a bit.