☆ trapped under ice ☆

☆ twelve ☆

tw: funeral.

allys pov. three days later (friday)

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i called work yesterday and told them about what happened and they completely understood and said that i could stay off as long as i needed, it helped that my friends parents owned the gas station.

today was the day of the funeral. i was at my aunts house, in my bedroom, she was helping me pick what to wear. i was sitting on the bed while she pulled out an older dress i hadn't wore for awhile.

it was a long black dress that reached my ankles with thin straps. she placed it on my lap then left the room. i slipped the dress over my head and adjusted everything until it sat right.

i told her she could come back in. i glanced at myself in the mirror. i had swollen red eyes and dark bag under them, thin arms, pale face...i had definitely

i could go on for hours.

i slipped on a big black knitted sweater over the top of the dress, seeing as it was raining. i wiped a few stray tears that remained on my face.

i gave my auntie a hug while i cried. she held me for a bit until we i settled down a bit. she held my shoulders and looked into my eyes.

"i have to get ready now but if you need me don't hesitate to come into my room okay" my aunt spoke softy. i nodded and she left after giving me one last tight squeeze.

i looked around the room and found my worn out black docs. i slipped them on and tied them up. i also put some earrings and a necklace on.

i sat down at my desk and contemplated putting make up on but then decided against it seeing as all i would do is cry it off in a matter of seconds.

so instead i decided to call james. walking into the kitchen i picked up the phone and dialed his number.

"ally?!" i instantly heard when the phone was picked up,"yes...hi james" i said while sniffling.

"you alrig-" he cut himself off "stupid question, im sorry".

"no james it's okay, im alright..." i said, there was a silence...we both knew that wasn't very true at all.

"the guys want to say hi!" he said breaking the sad silence. "okay, put them on" i said through laughs.

"hey ally, it's lars!" he said in his danish accent which never failed to put a smile on my face, "and kirk!" kirk chimed in, "and cliff" cliff added.

i laughed at them and said "hey guys! how's everyone been?", "good! but we miss you!" i heard kirk say.

"i miss you guys too!" i said with a big smile now on my face. cliff then proceeded to tell me about a gig they got that's coming up. "alright give me my girlfriend back..." james said while fighting them all to get the phone back.

after from what on my end just sounded like muffles james had the phone back. "hey james, i was wondering if i could come back to your place after the wake..." i asked.

"yeah of course!" he quickly replied. i saw my auntie walk out to where i was the kitchen, she was already dressed. "alright well, i have to go now but i will see you later". i said while adjusting my dress.

"yeah, see you then babe" he said in a cool tone. "alright bye" i said smiling from ear to ear at this point.

i hung up and my auntie gave me a knowing smile. i grabbed my bag and car keys, i jumped into my shitty old car and started driving to the place.

it was about an hour away because that's around where he apparently had been living. following my aunt in the car in front of me on the way there i listened to whatever music was playing on the radio.

when we arrived it was at a small white church in a pretty isolated little town. i parked and stepped out of the car.

i found my auntie and walked over to where she was parked a few cars ahead of me. together we started walking into the small church. in the front row i saw my mother.

i hadn't seen her in a few years but i will never forget that awful crazy bleach blonde hair she has. she stood up and turned around.

when she saw me she gasped and quietly said "allison...". i froze. that name, i hate it.

i didnt say anything back. i didn't know how to react, i was angry, sad, all of those stupid emotions. she went in to hug me but i immediately stepped back and put my hands foward to keep her away.

she moved closer to me and grabbed my arm pulling me into her. she wrapped her arms around me and whispered "don't act like a bitch at your fathers funeral" into my ear.

i tried to push her away but she had a solid grip, "let me go" i quietly protested while more tears fell. she let me go but gave me and extremely angry look.

i just took my aunties hand as she guided me into a seat far enough from my mother. then we sat down.

the whole service i was in tears. it was pretty short since no one got up to speak about my dad except for my mother.

the moment it was over the small group of people headed to the local bar for the wake. no one talked to each other.

they all just sat in silence, drowning the alcohol of their choice. i tried to stay but i simply couldn't.

my aunt understood and i gave her a hug and let her know i was going to james house. she decided to stay at the bar and catch up with some family that had come.

i got in the car and grabbed a smoke out of the packet, lighting it up i looked out the window at the unfamiliar town.

a single tear fell down my cheek and my breathing became faster. i put my face in my hands and just sobbed.

what had my life come to?

when i had steadied my breathing i started to drive, i took my time. i just needed to drive for a bit and process what happened.

after my short drive around the small town and many cigarettes later i arrived at james house. i opened the door and all the guys were on the couch watching a movie.

they saw me come in. james stood up and walked over to give me a hug. i hugged him back let out a long sigh.

shortly after i pulled out of the hug and kicked my shoes off. i went into the kitchen, james followed me. i opened the fridge and pulled out a cold beer. i opened it and took a sip trying to not crying again.

i took james hand and dragged him back onto the couch where the others were. i sat on the couch and he sat next to me.

he wrapped his arms around me and held me close, i rested against him and he kissed my head.

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