secrets ↠ demi lovato / 5h

[59]

being at the girls' shows were always fun, but this one was different. there was something about the fact that this was a sold out New York show, and the girls' first headlining tour. the opening acts - Jasmine, Mahogany and Jacob - were all fantastic and the crowd energy was amazing. I was in a little private area with barriers at the side of the stage, and a few fans in the front row saw me, so I went to say hello and take selfies with them before Jamie called me back.

finally, the lights dimmed and the crowd began to make noise.

"mirror, mirror, on the wall..."

when the curtain fell, the crowd cheered so loud, louder than anything I've heard. a girl in the front row began to cry, and the music started.

"I must confess... you're looking fresh-"

"SO FRESH!" the crowd shouted back, causing Dinah to smile.

"yup, I'm impressed, go ahead and flex-"

"FLEX! TURN UP!"

I was so immersed in the show that when I think of it back, I can't really remember much of it. it's the same with Demi shows and the girls at the Austin tour. part of me was still such a fangirl that, for once, I let go and didn't really care that the girl near me was videoing me dancing to Sledgehammer and screaming out Ally's high notes. it felt like an out-of-body experience, an euphoria I hadn't felt in a while.

"how many of y'all's WORTH IT?" Dinah called after a couple of songs, making the audience roar.

when the music started, I felt my heart speed up and heard the audience scream. I could feel the music and the bass all through my body, and hear a boy yell "HOLY S--" as the lights came on and illuminated the girls' figures.

just after the girls descended the stairs and lined up for the twerk move, Lauren, who was on the stage closest to me, caught my eye and winked before proceeding with the dance. as they all spun around, my eyes were initially fixated on the girls' backs, but soon made their own way to Lauren. her costume fitted her just nice, skin tight, and the purple lights gave her a glow, making her hair tint purple.

"guaranteed, I can back it up"

Lauren's head was tilted towards me, and she saw me staring, practically open mouthed, and giggled. slightly embarrassed, I decided that if anyone asked later I'd play it off by saying that I was still a harmonizer, which was true anyway. for some reason, it had never really gone away. I shyly averted my eyes to Normani, but once Lauren moved away from my side of the stage, my gaze involuntarily followed her. she looked towards me again, and I shifted my eyes quickly to Ally, who was now closest to me. we made eye contact, and I gave her a thumbs up. she giggled a little and mouthed "thank you" before Camila started her solo.

and if you don't have a clue

not a clue

I'll tell you what to do

the audience was buzzing with anticipation at what line came next.

come harder just because

I don't like it, like it too soft

in a split second, my eyes flitted towards Lauren and, without either of us expecting it at all, we locked eyes.

I like it a little rough

not too much, but maybe just enough

after the girls did the hip move and bent to touch their toes, Lauren looked back up directly at me, biting her lip. I pretended not to see her, watching Dinah instead. the noisy audience suddenly didn't register in my mind anymore as my heart started pounding while I tried to keep a straight face. I could feel my blood rushing through my veins, and, to be quite honest, my heartbeat now was feeling like a sledgehammer. I had no idea what just happened, and I didn't know why I was reacting this way. I glanced at the audience out of the corner of my eye, hoping no one had noticed. but thankfully, everyone was completely focused on the girls' second twerk move, which was coming up next. and, of course, Lauren was in the middle.