secrets ↠ demi lovato / 5h

[50]

*** I've been trying to make sure that this is an extra good chapter because it's CHAPTER FIFTY!!! I hope you guys enjoy it! ***

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four days later, I was being wheeled to Demi's room. I didn't like the wheelchair at all - the seat was scratchy and the back was too stiff - but it was the only way I could get around now for the next month or so. it was the first time I'd see Demi since the accident, and I was scared. scared of how she'd react to me, scared that she'd blame me completely and never want to see me again. I was the reason that we'd been in the crash in the first place, the reason she was in hospital, the reason that she had to halt album production and cancel the rest of the tour.

some of the Lovatics pretty much hated me with all of their soul by now. most of my twitter mentions were hate. people thought that I had deliberately run away back to my hometown to find my family because I was ungrateful for Demi/wanted attention/wanted to pull a publicity stunt. some people thought that I didn't want to be in the industry and wanted to run back to Uniondale to resume my normal life, so they thought that Brooke should've won The X Factor.

I hadn't heard from Brooke and Marie in ages. I missed them, and I wondered how they were. I knew that Brooke had released some stuff and I heard it, but it was a bit foggy because I hadn't listened properly. feeling a twinge of regret, I made a mental note to contact them sometime soon.

Nurse Bri knocked on Demi's door and another nurse opened, then helped to push me in.

as soon as Demi saw me, her face lit up, biting her lip to try to contain her smile. she held out her arms, and Nurse Bri helped me out of the wheelchair and to sit on Demi's bed. wordlessly, Demi leant forward and wrapped me in a tight hug. neither of us said anything as I began to cry softly, realizing fully now how much Demi meant to me. sure, we'd had our little spats and the whole thing last year with the mutual ignoring that literally turned into a competition of who could send the most vicious indirects, but sometimes I took her for granted, which shocked me. I never thought that I'd ever take Demi for granted since she had always been so special to me, but as the thought fully processed, I sobbed into Demi's shoulder. I remembered the first time, at the X Factor stage, when she sat on the edge of the stage next to me as I told her my story. I remembered her holding me close as I woke up screaming from another nightmare, and her stumbling sleepily to the kitchen to make me a warm glass of milk just so I could fall asleep easier. I remembered her stopping a conversation with her manager just to calm me down and run the tub for me. I remembered all the love and care and compassion that she had shown me and those nights that we lay on the floor of her room in LA and talked about anything and everything.

we hadn't had those nights in ages.

shaking from the crying, I pulled back, surprised, when I felt my shoulder getting wet. I struggled to wipe away my tears with my right hand, and bursting into fresh sobs upon seeing the tears race down Demi's cheeks.

"D-Demi," I sobbed.

"shh, baby girl," Demi said, her voice wobbling violently as she reached out to wipe my cheeks, ignoring her own. "I got you. we're safe now, my love. it's going to be okay."

I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, and turned to see Nurse Bri handing me some tissues. "Nurse Emma and I will be right outside, darling," she said softly. "just press that button on the monitor if you need us, okay?"

accepting the tissues gratefully, I nodded. when the two nurses left, I turned back to Demi.

"I'm sorry!" I blurted out, tears springing to my eyes again.

"no, no, no, baby, why are you sorry?" Demi pulled me towards her carefully, shuffling over so I could sit next to her comfortably.

I stared at her. "don't you blame me?"