secrets ↠ demi lovato / 5h

[11]

tw// suicide & ED mention

"oh, Lea," Demi picked me up bridal style, and I buried my head into the crook of her shoulder. she carried me towards the front door of the mansion. Marie, who was sitting against the door, leapt to her feet.

"is she okay? do you need anything?" she asked.

"I'll bring Lea back to my place, okay? don't worry about her, you guys go ahead with dinner and all that," Demi shifted me slightly.

"will she be back tonight?" Marie asked, anxious.

"I don't know," Demi said. "it depends. but I'll call the house phone if anything crops up, okay?"

"okay," Marie opened the door for us and Demi carried me out into the light.

------

after a mug of warm water and numerous hugs, I stopped crying completely.

we were curled up on the couch with blankets and cushions.

"Demi?" I asked weakly.

"yes, darling?"

"t-thank you."

"oh, sweetie. you don't have to thank me, you know?"

"t-t-this isn't r-regular prot-t-tocol," I sniffled.

"well," Demi traced my palm lightly. "you'd better get used to it."

silence fell for a while, but it wasn't awkward.

"Lea?" Demi asked, flipping my hand over gently and tracing the palm lines.

I bit my lip. "you want me to talk, don't you?"

Demi nodded.

I sighed as long as I could, pushing all the air out of my lungs. When I finished, Demi's mouth twitched into an amused smile.

"That was a ten second sigh," she informed me. "And that's how long you hold your high notes for."

"I sigh a lot," I told her.

"You shouldn't," she went back to tracing my palm. "Now talk."

I bit back another sigh.

"Lea, look at me," Demi gently persuaded. "I know you're scared. I know it's horrible. But nothing is too big for you to fight, and you can get through this. I'm going to be here for you every step of the way. You're my little warrior."

As Demi's thumb lightly brushed away a tear from my cheek, I grabbed a cushion. Demi took my hands gently.

"Why do you do this for me? Is it because you feel bad for me?" I blurted out.

When Demi didn't answer immediately, I panicked. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to, um, I was just, I didn't mean for it to sound like that, I'm sorry Demi, I'm so sorry I-"

"Shhhhh," Demi placed a finger on my mouth. "Don't. Shhh."

"I'm going to be honest with you Lea, I didn't answer straight away because I was shocked. I was shocked that you'd think I'm doing this just because I feel bad for you. Because, Lea, I don't. I care for you genuinely and I hate seeing you upset and fragile. I know we've known each other for only a short time - you knowing me for longer - but I love how we've bonded. I feel like you're part of the De La Garza family. And you know America loves you - you were number one on the votes last week and the week before, remember? It's because you have an undeniable talent. I know how it feels being vulnerable and feeling alone, and you know something? I'm so, so incredibly proud of you for not harming yourself today. You're getting closer to recovering completely, and yes, setbacks happen, but you know what? It's part and parcel of this whole thing. Also, I know you're worried that the others will know, but it looks like Brooke's had experience with this whole thing. I trust Brooke and Marie aren't going around spreading rumors, and you don't have to worry. I'm kind of talking all over the place. I'm sorry. But seriously though, Lea Rochelle. I love the bond we share - it isn't romantic, but it's sisterly and friendly and a beautiful thing. You know me from front to back, and while it can be slightly unnerving at times, it's beautiful. I'm learning more about you, and that's beautiful too. Oh, honey, what's wrong?"

I had started crying again.

"I-I-I love you so much," I took a deep breath and wiped the tears away. "Thank you."

"Oh, Lea, I love you too. You're very welcome, precious."

"I-I-I'll tell you."

Demi shuffled closer and slid an arm across my shoulder, causing me to lean into her comforting presence.

"Anytime you're ready, sweetie," she soothed.

I took a deep breath.

"Katelyn killed herself last night. She overdosed o-o-on-" I cut myself off, dissolving into sobs.

Demi pulled me into a long hug, rubbing circles on my back as I cried, long and hard, remembering all the times I spent with her, the childhood memories, the times she held me tight, the times she shut me out. I remembered the day I saw her cutting, the day she started refusing to eat, the times she ditched school, the times she screamed at me, and the exact day she convinced me to sign up for the X Factor. I remembered collapsing into her amrs after my audition, the long hug she gave me when she had to leave for the airport, when I promised I'd stay strong for her. Everything started to make sense now - the random texts telling me to keep fighting, the calls always ending with "don't give up". Katelyn had planned this.

I wondered if Demi thought I was crazy or overreacting.

I felt her press her lips to my forehead, and we stayed like that for a while.

And when I felt her tears rolling onto my shoulders, all I felt was love.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N:

I'm so sorry this was depressing omg

Demi's speech & the memories made me emotional tbh. =[

this chapter is dedicated to Silent_Warrior and LoveIsLouder26 for guessing what happened!

next update: Sunday- Wednesday

xoxo