secrets ↠ demi lovato / 5h

[63]

the next day, I ended up wearing Lauren's sweater, bracelet and beanie along with skinny jeans and ankle boots to the airport. like Naya said, the sky was pouring with relentless rain and it was so, so cold. the sweater smelled faintly like Lauren still, and I dreaded having to wash it because then it wouldn't smell of her anymore.

"nice beanie," Demi said as I dragged my suitcase towards the car. "where'd you get it?"

"the girls gave it to me at the show," I said. what? I wasn't really lying.

Naya was already in the backseat, headphones in, dozing off slightly. Demi slid in next to her, making me have to climb to the two seats in the back, where one of the suitcases was poking out next to me.

"sorry," Demi said mischievously as I rolled my eyes at her.

Max began to pull out of the parking lot and I watched as we left the now empty apartment. I had to avert my eyes when we passed the venue the girls played at, as I leant back onto the seat and sighed a little. Demi was already nodding off, so I put my headphones on and absentmindedly put my songs on shuffle.

when I had asked Demi when we'd be coming back to New York, she had stalled before saying truthfully, "I don't know, sweetheart. it's very likely going to be a long time."

New York wasn't my home city. I'd never even been to New York before this trip. sure, I lived in Uniondale before, but Uniondale was no New York. although I'd spent just five or six months here, I'd grown attached to it. I'd liked walking from the house to the studio every day pre-accident, looking out at the illuminated city at night from the huge windows in the living room, even the drone of countless car alarms going off in the middle of the night. I was going to miss all that.

I'm a wanderess
I'm a one night stand

the Halsey song shook me out of my thoughts as I turned to watch the city zipping past us.

don't belong to no city
don't belong to no man

as Max began to turn onto the road to lead us onto the highway, I shut my eyes and sighed a little, blowing air out of my cheeks. I had to let go of New York. as stupid as it sounds, I felt like I was leaving a person.

maybe this was it - maybe it was time to change.

I'm the violence in the pouring rain
I'm a hurricane

---

as soon as we get on the plane, I fall asleep immediately to the slow tune of American by Lana Del Rey. the song that Camila had introduced me to, and the song that Lauren sang softly to me in the tour bus when I couldn't fall asleep. maybe that's why I dozed off - I associated that song with sleep now. which was a pity, really, since I really liked the song.

the next time I opened my eyes, we had landed in LA. Demi was brushing hair out of my face, placing little kisses on my face. "wake up, baby," she was murmuring. I sleepily turned to face her, and a huge smile spread across her face when she saw that I had awakened. Naya was busy retrieving our carry-on luggage from the overheard compartments.

it was about 6pm already. I turned airplane mode on my phone off, and slung my bag over my right shoulder. following Demi and Naya out of the plane, I groggily texted the group chat with me and the girls in it as soon as I got the faintest trace of signal on my phone.

Lea: we just landed in LA!!
Camila: YAAAY! how was the flight?
Lea: idk I slept the whole way through
Dinah: Lauren keeps saying how much she misses you lol
Lauren: that's not true
Lauren: I mean of course I miss you Lea but I'm not whinging about it 24/7 jfc
Normani: don't deny itttt
Ally: omg guys leave her alone
Lea: I'm flattered
Lea: I'M KIDDING
Lauren: you're welcome though